Friday, April 12, 2024

It’s Okay to Have a Life.

January 20, 2020 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( You are not a crutch, a failsafe, nor an emotional slave. There are 24hrs in a day, and you have things that must be done, and only you can get them done. You can be a daughter, sister, friend, wife, and/or mother and still have a life of your own. Sistahs we are talking about owning your time and space. The definition of being loyal to our sister circle and loves ones is not being dumped on. When you look up and find you are drained all the time, frustrated for what seems to be no reason, your body is going through levels of discomfort, you are having trouble sleeping, and you experience anxiety every time your phone rings to the point you answer when you have your hands full you have surrendered your life to those in your life. No one deserves to be treated in such a manner, but unfortunately it is what you have allowed. You have sent the message that your time belong to those in your life and that is what they should expect.

When you sit down to plan your day, or week, you know what needs to get done and when. Make sure you are penciling time for you and the self-care you need. Know that your “me” time will be challenged by those that feel entitled to your life. Just because you don’t jump when folks call doesn’t mean you don’t love them…it means you are busy. It is important to keep in mind that these are the same people that will demand you respect their time. They are not going to answer you at work, when they are meditating, when they don’t feel like talking, if they had a bad day…or just need to rest. They are selfish with their time.

You will find these are the same people that can only give you as one word response when your world is falling apart. They don’t take the time to stop and pray with you…as you have with them. They have a life, and they intend to live it. Part of them living their life is infringing upon your life space. The lack of reciprocity is loud and blatant. Of course, it’s not seen that way. You are simply guilted and bullied into believing you don’t love and are dismissing those you are supposed to stand with when you choose you in any space. This is unhealthy for you and can quickly become toxic.

You have a right to live, to have boundaries, and to enjoy your life on your terms. Take the time to set boundaries. Let those in your life that contribute to this negativity know you are needing to do somethings for you so there will be some adjustments you are making for your self-care. You love them but can’t jump every time they call as you must live also. Those that truly care about you will see what you are saying, possibly see the hand they have played in you feeling confined and respect the stance you are taking for self.

The people in your life that don’t understand your boundaries but demand you respect theirs are selfish and depending on the situation they could have narcissistic tendencies. Those are not people that mean you well. Creating boundaries one at a time starting small can help address the anxiety that may have been created by dealing with people that had been emotionally abusing you. Remember this is your life, and you must cherish said life. Do what’s necessary for you to be fulfilled in your life.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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