Monday, December 4, 2023

Your Home, Your Rules.

December 7, 2021 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Home should be a place of peace and tranquility. We never know what the day will bring when we walk out our door. There are so many stressors in the world, and it is important to have a space that can reflect peace back to you. Granted, I am a true believer that internal peace is something that can’t be touched without permission, but it is important to have a tangible place you can retreat to on a daily basis. This universe you create is based on who you are. It will not be suitable for everyone, and that’s okay, and it shouldn’t readily be adjusted for others. This is a boundary too many of us forget to put in place, and between challenges, and the need for validation, the sanctuary that is home can easily be put in jeopardy.

When disasters and various life challenges take place, we might find ourselves in situations whereby our space now includes many other people we care about. When this takes place, we do our best to make our people comfortable, and accommodate them, and remember that they are going through a traumatic ordeal. With all of that acknowledged, respect and boundaries have to be maintained. You shouldn’t feel as though you are losing your space.


Boundaries are key to keeping the peace, but they can be difficult to maintain when challenges arise. Boundaries are also difficult when you are not accustomed to enforcing such. When something belongs to you, truly, you determine the vibe, and you dictate the rules. No one wants to be seen as tyrannical or bossy. We tend to run from being seen as stubborn or unmoving…but sometimes that is exactly what is needed. Nothing feels worse than opening your home out of the goodness of your heart only to be made uncomfortable in your home. Sometimes you may encounter the person that wants to complain about everything. They want you to change everything physically in the home because they don’t like the way you decorate.

There could be the person that has decided to help you by reorganizing shelves and closets. Then some people tend to show a lack of respect for your things “accidentally’ breaking everything they touch. There are those that feel they can treat you like a child and talk to you any kind of way…even in your home. And there always seems to be the person that doesn’t understand the concept of hygiene and cleaning up behind themselves. All of these things are boundary issues, and an attempt to create something different in your home than you intended.

It is important to remember that your home must flow according to your rules for it to remain a tranquil space for you. Though it might seem harsh, if someone can’t respect your boundaries, they can leave your home. If the situation, for some reason, doesn’t allow them to leave…they must abide. There is no getting around respecting the boundaries of your home. Helping family and friends should not equate to a lack of peace for you. This can be very difficult especially if the people ignoring the boundaries are family members, and friends you hold dear. It is important to take a stand for your peace and your home. The consequences of letting the issue go can be harder to bare. You could find yourself feeling lost, triggered, anxious, or even depressed. If your feelings are suppressed, you could end up having a terrible altercation with loved ones that is harder to mend. Remember you are your own woman, and you have a right to have your space flow as you decide. No one has the right to violate, on purpose or by accident, the sanctity of your home.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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