Sunday, November 26, 2023

Green with Envy.

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( When we found out there would be a new addition to our family, it was a little frightening, to say the least. It wasn’t the news we were expecting to hear but a new baby usually brings feelings of excitement. If you are already blessed with one, then you know the feeling I’m talking about. It was a dream until Baby No. 2 was born and Big Brother started noticing some differences. He quickly noticed that Mama and Daddy were a little preoccupied more often than not with this new person. This new person was always crying and never seemed to sleep. He also noticed that he would have to wait for a minute before his juice or snack request would be filled.

My Spider Monkey felt the transition happening and we could see it. He began acting out more and became extremely impatient. He also began doing things for attention when he would notice we were doing something with his little brother. This behavior startled me because it started all of a sudden and not a slow progression.


The frequent question from their pediatrician was how Spider Monkey was handling the new baby around the house and I was confused as to what she meant as my oldest hadn’t really noticed his new brother. It wasn’t until month three when I started noticing his behavior change. He would want me to play when it was very obvious that I was doing something at the moment. These moments were usually when I was feeding his brother or playing with him for a sec while his brother was occupied. To combat this, we the parents, tried to divide and conquer when these situations would arise and then switch. It never really worked because both boys would want facetime with Mommy. Around this time, I wished that I could splice myself into three different people to handle everything.

Now I know that is definitely not possible but a countermeasure for his jealous moments had to be put into place. On this mommy journey, I have had to grow up quite a bit and think outside the box. I have had to learn to stop thinking singularly and think in the collective we when planning activities. I had to become the best dancer, crafter, and silly face maker for the both of them to abate envy.

I have learned that I don’t have to split my time for them to be happy. We began to use his little brother’s naptime to spend time together. Finding activities that entertain him hasn’t been a challenge because he usually has his hands in everything. The problem usually comes when the fun time has to stop. We also began including him in helping his brother with tasks like bringing things that the baby needs and when diaper changes happen since he’s potty training.

It has been a challenging time but learning to care for two children that are about the same age is exciting and fun. As they grow, so do I. Someone once told me that no one wakes up knowing how to be a mother. We take the lessons that we learn from our mother and own experiences to become something new in the motherhood category. His jealousy was really a wakeup call for me that I needed to do and be more.

Staff Writer; Jessieca Carr

One may connect with this sister online over at Instagramsusiecarmichael1920 and Twitternoladarling1920.

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