Thursday, February 29, 2024

Butterfly, Butterfly, Please Come Out.

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( Change has been a theme in my life for the last year. Some good, some bad, but change, nonetheless. It has been joyous and painful, yet it needs to happen for maturation to occur. As a woman, there are times when we feel stuck in transition. When we are children, it is simply put as, “Not a girl, not yet a woman“. Our mental and physical beings are stuck in a shift where our understanding of the world transforms into something totally new. Our bodies morph from dainty teacups into vessels that can carry and create life. Mentally, we learn new methods of love, problem-solving, and coping with new emotions that we don’t quite understand such as grief.

As we grow older, we learn from the mistakes our younger selves made and keep the experience to look back on. But what happens when we keep making the same mistakes? What happens when we see ourselves in the exact same position we were a year before and make the same mistake? It becomes crystal clear that we didn’t learn a damn thing. Not only did we learn nothing but never changed anything about ourselves in the process.

middle age black woman

Mistakes are meant to teach and grow. How you measure your growth is up to you but there must be honesty in the measurement. Denial is the easiest way to stay stuck in a place that you don’t want to be. It causes you to throw pity parties every day and run your head into a brick wall. In this act, you become the perfect definition of insanity by doing the same thing repetitively and expecting a different result. The more you lie to yourself, the deeper you sink into despair and don’t move. This mental state becomes quicksand to everything around you while you hold your vigil candle and sink. Some of us choose to continue to play the victim and dwell in this space because it is comfortable. I’m here to tell you, sis, that’s not where you want to be. It leads you down a path from no return of not listening to your higher self and not going with your first mind. It pushes those you love further and further away from you. During this period, we think everyone is against us and tend to alienate those around us. We drawback for fear of being emotionally bruised or having our ego chin checked. However, it is usually the people we are withdrawing from that can help us to heal. Our family and friends can see the cracks in our veneers to the truth that lies beneath. They see the internal turmoil sprawled across our bodies like graffiti and only seek to help.

Truth and reconciliation with self-healing to promote metamorphosis. Being honest about flaws is the most gracious thing we can do for ourselves. Recognizing these weaknesses and habits can help to change your mindset if you strengthen them and dispel those that do you no good. We must also come to terms with certain situations and reconcile the endings. As women, we hold on to feelings and emotions that stem from previous relationships and dealings with people. It is not the healthiest habit, but we put ourselves through it when we truly cared about the situation. These situations must be let go in order to move on and accept what happened as fact. Nothing can be done to change the past and there are no do-overs.

Acceptance is the last step for change to occur. We must accept the truths that are evident and embrace them. They are who we are, and it is up to you to change it if you so desire. There’s no magic spell or potion. No secret that you have to read about it.

Staff Writer; Jessieca Carr

One may connect with this sister online over at Instagramsusiecarmichael1920 and Twitternoladarling1920.

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