Friday, April 12, 2024

Admitting the Change Upstream.

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( Donzella Washington.  No, it is not a common name, but for Alabama A & M University, that name has some magic and power attached to it. At 80 years old, she received her degree in Social Work from the esteemed university.  While most people are finishing life insurance policies and attempting to not end up in a nursing home, Washington is choosing to continue to help others for as long as she can. Age is just age.

Meanwhile, I am in my bed crying at 33 years old when I have to admit I do not love something like I used to love it.

We tell ourselves that time and age are the determining factor in how we live our lives.  It is another barrier that we put on ourselves to cut the circulation of life blood short. Why? Why do we choose to do something like this?  There are multiple answers to this question depending on the person you ask and where they are in their own life.  Regardless of the response, one thing is certain: change is NOT easy to process and go through.

We spend most of our lives attempting to develop a routine: something that we do all the time in the same way so we do not have to think as much. It is okay when we have to tweak or adjust the routine.  If it is a BIG change, however, the world is officially about to end.  Call the police. Raid the electronic stores for free TVs.  Fire and brimstone are about to come from the sky.  It is not an easy change no matter how much people tell you it will be.

So how do we change without our world coming to an end?

First, admittance is key.  Say it to yourself. Say it out loud. Write it on a huge piece of paper and tape it to your mirror.  You have to admit that there is a change that needs to happen.  Then, say what the change will be.  Doing this is going to be extremely painful.  It will be especially painful if you have been set in your ways for a long time or you are attempting to reach a goal for a long period of time.  Admittance will open the wound.  What you do next will help it heal.

Next,  you plan.  Start answering questions that will help you transition into your change.  Here are some sample questions, but you can make up your own:

  • How long will this take?
  • What supplies will I need?
  • Who can support me?
  • What may keep me from changing?

Planning decreases your chances of relapsing back into your old ways.  It gives you realistic goals to meet and encouragement that you will REALLY need as this change tends to be horrible before it is fantastic.

Last, you activate.  Put your plan into action like you are morphing like a power ranger!  You may not change automatically like the pink ranger did, but you will notice little by little that you are getting closer to your goal. Will you fall off sometimes? Yes. Will you want to quit? Absolutely.  This is why the planning part is so important.  Planning helps you prepare for all of these moments when you want to give in and give up.

When I was sitting on my bed crying, it happened because I had to admit that something I had been chasing for almost my entire life was something I would never obtain.  The reason I would never obtain it is because of the person I am now.  That goal was something I set a LONG time ago before I really became an adult.  While I would love for it to happen, it can not. I have to come to terms with that.  The change, however, is something that I can accomplish as an adult and feel confident in knowing that this change is for me.  It will make me better. A better me means a better world.  I may not like the change upstream, but I am grateful that it is happening.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.

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