Sunday, July 14, 2024

Sometimes It’s Not Hurt.

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( During the course of any kind of relationship it is very important to check stubborn pride at the door. One has to be willing to admit when actions and/or words have been hurtful, and offensive. When this happens by it’s important to admit the hurtful behavior, and work towards making a mends. It’s important to listen to what your significant other is explaining to you that you’ve done, or said, something that hurt them. It is important to care about the reaction to your behavior, and any mental distress it causes. One of the quickest ways to relationship discord is unaddressed hurt. No one is perfect, but one must strive to give their best to said relationship. Perfection is something no one should expect in a relationship, but it’s important to treat someone with the compassion you require. When your partner, or family member, come to you regarding hurt you don’t get to tell them “look I didn’t hurt”, unless you didn’t hurt them.

Today we live in a society that pushes the validation of one’s feelings about fact and truth. In this space perception is reality, and that’s all that matters. I doesn’t matter of a person really hurts you, that matters is you feel hurt so they need to acknowledge such. The problem with this is it can in turn injury the other party. Yes, if you actually commit hurt you need not tell your significant other you didn’t. However, if you didn’t offend them, and can even prove such, it is very important that you respectful stand in truth. No one should walk around accepting ridicule when they’ve done nothing wrong.

The opposite position states my feelings are indeed my reality, so my partner should respect my truth, and apologize. Your truth is personal to you, and it doesn’t have to line up to any accuracy because it belongs to you. That doesn’t mean that, outside of you, it will stand. It’s very important to have an open line of communication, especially where misunderstanding is concerned, so one truly knows when they are being hurt.

If your partner doesn’t do thing exactly the way you want it, and you use “hurt” to get them to do as you please…you might be giving the hurt you claim you’ve received. Furthermore, this concept is dangerous in the hands of a narcissist. A narcissist will manipulate you into believing you hurt them, and you can’t tell them you did not, when I’m fact they are hurting you. They are the masters of twisting a situation by with they are inflicting harm to they are the victim. In that sense you would need to take a stand, and confront the fact that you are not hurting them regardless of their persuasion otherwise.

No one deserves to be hurt, and disregarded, in a relationship. Yet, no one deserves to be falsely accused and forced to apologize because the feelings of one person is more important that what’s actually taking place in a situation. Furthermore, no one should feel communicating respectfully, but truthfully, for fear of being told they are hurtful. In this space any relationship is in danger. If you committed hurt by all means humble yourself and try to make it right. However, if you didn’t please don’t sit back and become a scapegoat for someone’s feelings. Just as they would deserve better so do you.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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