Friday, July 19, 2024

Kids Need Boundaries Even with Mom.

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( A vital part of raising responsible children is to instill boundaries. They need to know what is, and is not, acceptable behavior in different situations. Teaching boundaries can also show our children how to be caring and selfless. As a mother it is easy to get into the mode of sharing everything you have, from food to space, with your children. When we give them everything that belongs to us, and don’t define the lines of personal space as they get older we are teaching them that there are no boundaries they need observe where mom is concerned. This is can, eventually, cause frustration for you, and confusion for the child. If not careful the lines of appropriate behavior will be muddied.

There comes a point when our child is in the toddler phase that they must learn that everything that belongs to mommy doesn’t belong to them. It may be hard to resist those precious little faces, but it is necessary for them to understand it isn’t okay to be selfish. When our children are given snacks, or their meals, we let them eat in peace. They get to eat a full plate of food, and their drink. However, after eating when we get a chance to sit down it is not uncommon for us to see our lovely toddler lurking around our plate with the expectation that we will give them food. They aren’t hungry…they just want what you have. This is a moment where we can teach them to be fair. “Mommy allowed you to eat your food, now you must be fair and let mommy eat”. Clearly the answer has to become no to their request. They must learn to give what they expect, and mom is not an exception to the rule.

As our children get older body awareness comes into play. Children often feel entitled to their mother, and this includes her person. However, boy or girl, they must learn at an early age that touching us anywhere on our body is inappropriate. Our chest and backsides are not areas they get to just touch and run into freely. This is not a call to be harsh, but again it’s a teaching moment.

When they learn there are body boundaries even with mom we are in turn teaching them to respect the body of others, and to demand the same. As they get older there are simply places they can’t follow us…like to the restroom. They learn to give us some personal space when necessary, and respect what belongs to mom. This will translate into them respecting the same for others. In a time where we are fighting rape culture as a humanity teaching mothers teaching these lessons to children by way of their own body is very important.

We love our children, and strive everyday to give them the best of us. However, we must teach them how to love, and how to love us. So many mothers are mistreated, and misused, by their children as they get older. Much of this could be avoided with us applying structure and boundaries to our children at a very young age, and not excluding ourselves from such. It will not ruin their childhood or make their days lack fun. It will allow them to grow with decency, and respect for themselves and others. With that they will also learn to love and respect mom.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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