Sunday, January 17, 2021

I Thought She was My Friend.

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( We’ve all heard the concept some relationships are for a season, and others are for life. When you have had that particular friend that has been like a sister to you since grade school its impossible to think that relationship is seasonal. You have grown up on the same block, navigated through school, experienced heartbreaks, and shared precious secrets together. This sister knows that no matter what happens you have her back, and that won’t change. Though you didn’t go to the same colleges you remained close, and still managed to share everything. However, things just don’t seem the same as of late.

Life has dealt the two of you rather different hands as of late, and now nothing you say seems to reach her. If you experience progress in any area of your life she isn’t as excited for you…instead she basically demands that you be embroiled in every aspect of unhappiness that has befallen her. Furthermore, when something great comes through for her it overshadows anything you could have wished to share. You don’t know what went wrong, but you find yourself wanting to ignore the calls of the girlfriend you have called sister most of your life. You feel like telling her how you feel will only make matters worse, but the relationship is gradually becoming toxic.

Unfortunately, something traumatic happens in your life that shatters your heart, you just know that no matter what the one person you have always been there for will help you get through the pain. You are plunged further into darkness when you realize she isn’t there…she has no desire to be there. She even feels like now you know what pain is. She expresses to you that now you aren’t the one giving advice, now you aren’t so strong…she questions your strength as if she just left you bleeding.

In this moment, you must realize that life and time can change people. There are sisters you have stood on the wall for, but now you must walk away. In some instances, she may have become jealous and envious, but you provided her with so much support she would not dare cut you off. However, the moment you are unable to provide such…you are shown the true nature of said relationship.

Walking away when you value friendship and loyalty is gut wrenching. You may find yourself questioning if ending this frenemy relationship is a good idea. In this space you must not let your feeling, or your past, cloud your judgement when the truth is before you. It is necessary for your own health, and mental health, to release toxic situations. You very well may find that there are people in your life that are willing to be a part of your support system because they truly love you.

Far too often we ignore those sisters for the ones we have known over long periods of time. It is a good practice to set aside time, periodically, for self-care. In that time, you should evaluate the relationships in your life that are apart of your support system. Never be afraid to speak truth, in love, to a person you feel is taking you to a toxic place. Sometimes there is simply a need for communication, and other times there is a need to remove said person from your circle. Many of us have had to utter the words, through tears, I thought she was my friend. Though they hurt resolving the matter for the sake of your wellness is always a wise decision.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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