Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Your Daughter Needs You.

October 5, 2017 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( It’s very true mother’s love their sons. When they see that boy, they see the future of not just a name…but their protection. Let’s be real there is an understanding that boys will fight for their mother. There are mothers out there that demand nothing of their sons, and that boy child gets the best they have to offer as a mother…which in some instances is debilitating. However, what of the daughters. It is unfortunate that some women look at their daughters and all that is reflected back to them is their own misfortune. Some look upon their daughter and see she is beautiful and smart. Instead of celebrating the greatness of her daughter she sees it as a battle cry.

The beginning of a war so to speak, and the mother is battling to remain the smartest, most beautiful and most desirable. Yes, its sick but there is a chance it was also done to this mother…by her mother. There is a constant fuss that it takes a man to make a man. Ok, with that logic please understand it takes a woman to make a woman. Ladies, your daughters need you just as much, if not more, as your sons. She needs to look at you, and get introduced to her own greatness.

Daughters do need the love of their father, but there is a love and understanding of womanhood she can only get from her mother. There is a need of validation that a daughter seeks from her mother, and it is necessary for her development. Just as men ought not brake the spirit of their sons…women must not do this to their daughters. For black girls to keep their magic they must know their mothers love them and are in support of them. There is no reason for us to fear being overshadowed by our daughters. It’s important to get the proper help needed to heal from the pain one may have endured from her mother. This is key so that mothers don’t ruin their daughters. In their eyes, you must begin to see your legacy, and nurture the girl that will one day become the woman.

Some women have experienced great shame in their life, and because of it daughters can be seen as a source of judgement. However, when we allow ourselves to heal shame is alleviated, and one can truly impart wisdom about life and living into one’s daughter. There is also strain on the mother daughter relationship when the father daughter relationship is envied. Granted there are men out there that need to understand you ought not do for your daughter what you should be doing for your wife. In other words, your number one WOMAN is your wife not your daughter.

With that being said, this is the same imbalance some women have with their sons. It is the responsibility of the parent to build a relationship with one’s children that can be sustained by said children. Shaming daughters by sending out in public unkept, not teaching them their value, and marring their beauty to upstage them is damaging. When your daughter has accomplishments, she needs you in her corner. If she’s an adult and single she doesn’t need to be called a failure by her mother. When a little girl has to watch her mom call her out of her name she might embody the insult…or internalize the pain and shut down. No matter which thing happens, or both, it is wrong and abusive.

Ladies, your daughters need you. They want to love you, and be loved by you. The strength of their womanhood depends on your ability to see past yourself, and pour into your daughter. Her self-worth, and perspective as a woman must be nurtured by mom. One day your baby girl will be a mother, and you want her to be able to pour goodness into her daughter. Let’s break the cycle of pain, abuse and competition with our daughters. Sons love and defend their mother…so do daughters.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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