Sunday, June 16, 2024

Killing Our Bridge to Abuse.

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( She was brought up in a home radiant with love. She was brought up to know she was beautiful, and cherished. As this princess came into herself she was respectful, confident, loyal and physically beautiful. With all she had become this gem carried a very painful secret. She never told a soul she was molested as a child. There was no doubt in her mind her parents would believe her, but she knew her confession would send her father to prison. Instead of choosing healing she chooses family as her source of protection.

Faith, love, family, music and writing were just a few things she anchored herself with to keep the sanity within. These pillars allowed her to still see herself as beautiful when she looked in the mirror. Because her assailant was a woman she would have a hard time trusting women outside of her immediate family. This led to trusting males a bit too freely, as they seemed like a fortress for her. College came along with all its enchantment, newness, and freedoms.

Even within this new world she could not completely bury her secret for good. The comfort felt would betray her the night she was sexually assaulted on her campus. Unlike the molestation something felt as though it broke inside…she looked at herself in the mirror and saw the need for ugly. Maybe ugly could protect whereas nothing else could. This princess began to pack on weight…it was done purposely to make her unattractive. Whenever she looked in the mirror she saw ugly as more weight came.

There were enough reminders in her life that this behavior was harmful to her health. However, she didn’t care she decided she could not endure another assault on her person…on her soul. The princess would become a queen through growth, healing, wisdom and her pillars were still in place to love on her as they now knew all of her secrets. She was blessed to marry a man that saw her beauty and strength passed the pounds. He loved the very embodiment of her. Though she had come so far in life when she looked in the mirror there was still a bridge to her abuse…the weight she gained, the ugly she summoned for covering. The beautiful queen had but one final step…she must summon the strength to fight for her health. She had to burn this bridge to her past.

The narrative above is but an example of the pain, and dilemma so many women face every day. Every sister is not battling obesity because she is lazy and wants to live this way. Many women fell into weight gain as a result of pain, sorrow, and abuse. Many have fought back by deciding to live, and take control of their own path. In doing this many are strong and growing. However, one must also decide to take ones’ health back. No one deserves to live in the ugly they may have used to try to protect themselves, because with that comes health problems. As we liberate our mind and spirit of oppression…we must let that freedom trickle down to our love for our bodies.

When we see beautiful again in self we must acknowledge the pain of abuse that we have stored in our very body. Begin the walk to reclaiming your body in fullness, and protecting your health. You are beautiful, and you deserve a life free of pain…and its reminders. Kill the bridge to your past, in part, by strengthening and loving on your temple…your body.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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