(ThySistas.com) I hear many women saying that they desire a mate yet their actions, behaviors, beliefs and tone reflects an individual who would rather live life alone. No doubt I understand our ability as women to function independently and to accomplish tasks aggressively. In the midst of our ability to be self-reliant, if a partnership is desired, we must create a space for our potential partner to fulfill. No one wants to enter a tight space where they must squeeze themselves in or as its said “get in where you fit in”. Everyone wants to feel that we are occupying a space that could not be held by anyone else rather than being something to do.
For some, we have been single for so long that we have learned not to merely cope but thrive in life with the company of self, family, friends and mentors. Others may quickly enter and exist relationships throughout the year. For some, the choice to be single came about in their quest of self knowledge. Everyone’s reasoning is different, nonetheless when you make the statement that you are ready and available for romantic love, there are a few character traits you need to check.
1. Pettiness – Constantly nitpicking over everything will run not only a potential romantic partner away but your children, family and friends as well. Some people stress over the smallest things in life which makes most of us escape before something life altering comes
along. When we are constantly nagging, fussing and irritating others, it is difficult to keep anyone around. The cure here is finding other ways to release your energy whether through exercise, boxing, yoga, journaling, dancing or meditating. Finding your place of balance within will make it easier for others to enjoy your company without feeling on edge.
2. Overly Dominant – I am not one who believes the man or woman is the head of the household, to me it doesn’t logically work to have two bodies yet one head. I believe that individuals should lead in areas where their strength lies regardless of their gender. That being said, if two responsible individuals are present, there should be no need for one to attempt to control or dominate the other. Two responsible individuals should be capable of communicating effectively with one another to express their thoughts without degrading or disrespecting others.
3. Close Minded– If you have already created your dream lover mentally and have created a way for them to think, respond and behave towards you its going to be a struggle for you dating in the real world. It is difficult enough to say how we are going to respond under pressure let alone how the next individual will behave. There is nothing wrong with setting standards that align with your values, morals and life purpose, in fact it is necessary. Most unnecessary is closing your mind to your potential mate being an individual with their own thoughts, family, friends, life and purpose. You can not create a perfect person in your mind and then expect them to actualize in human form. What you can do is create the best version of yourself inside and outside and attract to you one of like energy.
4. Materialistic – So many people are waiting for their romantic partner so they can get their dream car, dream house, start their business or some other material come up that they feel they can not accomplish alone. Some already have an income bracket that their lover must fall within to attain their affection. At times we can get so caught up in material things that will not bring us peace, joy or satisfaction. We care more about material things and the illusion of being success within a union than we do about getting ourselves mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready to be physically involved in.
It has been said that there is someone for everyone and while that may be true, our personality and characteristics definitely have the ability to make living with us unbearable, even for our one true love.
God Speed.
Staff Writer; Dina Tuff
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