Friday, December 8, 2023

What To Do If You Think Your Partner’s Cheating.

June 8, 2016 by  
Filed under Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( The idea that our significant other may be being unfaithful is one of the most harrowing experiences we can have day-to-day. The emotions that it stirs up: doubt, fear, regret among many others. Most of all, the uncertainty and the way it leads you to question everything make life miserable – and it eats away at you and your relationship.

Much of the time this concern will be unfounded, misread signals leading to two and two making five. However, the fact is that sometimes people do stray – and if the confirmation only comes when they are telling you then it can be all the more numbing. Rather than having doubts keep you awake all night, it’s worth knowing once and for all.123-2016-blackcouple-walking

Taking some proactive steps can make a difference. When you know the truth, for better or worse, you can put things behind you and move on.

Ask Them What’s Wrong

Often, the sense that a partner is hiding infidelity from us can come from changes in their behaviour. They become more distant, irrationally angry or irritable. Sometimes, they’ll become insulting because they’re looking for a way to shift blame. This may be because they’re cheating, but it may also be because they’re dealing with a stressful situation or are depressed.

Monitor Their Behaviour

The way a person behaves will change considerably when they are having an affair. It’s worth monitoring aspects of your partner’s behaviour. Are they batting away compliments and affection? Taking extra care of their appearance, losing weight and putting on aftershave or perfume more? Making excuses for being late? Any of these can be a sign – though they aren’t direct proof.

Talk About Doing Things Differently

If a partner is having an affair they’re less likely to be invested in your relationship. When you have worries that they may be cheating, it is worth suggesting some changes in your relationship. Maybe you want to take more trips as a couple, or romantic nights in. If they’re just feeling unmotivated in the relationship, a change may be exciting for them. If they are cheating, they may look for excuses to avoid putting more time in.

Hire An Investigator

It sounds like a nuclear option, and it is something you should only do if you are prepared for the results. However, a relationship investigator may be the definitive way to put your doubts to rest once and for all. Furtive behaviour may be explained because they’re planning a surprise for you. They may be working on their appearance because they’re chasing a promotion. Or it may be bad news. One way or the other, you’ll know.

It is worth bearing in mind that there are various potential outcomes when you explore whether your partner is unfaithful. You may get the dreaded news that they are, and have to deal with the fallout from that. You may get good news and be able to move forward. Either way, it has to be better than the endless doubts that can assail you when you just don’t know.

Staff Writer; Mariah Freeman


2 Responses to “What To Do If You Think Your Partner’s Cheating.”
  1. Marque Anthony says:

    As a family and relationship counselor, mediator and life coach for over 12 years, I have to say simply ask the person. But first examine yourself to make sure you don’t have trust issues due to past relationships. Also look in the mirror to make sure you don’t have jealousy issues based on insecurity within yourself.

    Many people cheat but make sure you are not contributing to the reason he might want to or feel the need to cheat in the first place. Yes you can be a contributor to the problem but not the excuse for it – there is a difference.

    Are you distant? Are you always too busy? Are you no longer romantic, freaky or whatever you were in order to get him interested in the first place?

  2. Marque Anthony says:

    ABORTION: Baby or Selfish Irresponsible Choice

    THE NUMBER ONE KILLER OF AFRICAN AMERICANS IN THIS COUNTRY IS ABORTION – the killing of innocent unborn children by irresponsible mothers who could not keep their legs closed and sorry little boys who push that because they are not real men. Its not enough that African American men are deceived into thinking we are black when we are brown and black is the color of your car tires.

    Its not enough that brothers are emasculated, gay, confused about their gender or wearing dresses like punked Tyler Perry, punked Jamie Foxx, Will Smith, Cris Rock and Terry Kruse. Its not enough that too many of our brothers have no sense of identity and are incarcerated like cattle. Its not enough that black on black crime is killing more of our people than the police ever have – and faster.

    THE NUMBER ONE KILLER OF AFRICAN AMERICANS IN THIS COUNTRY IS ABORTION and sense it was legalized, it has killed more African Americans than Cancer, AIDS, crime, car accidents and police officers combined. WAKE UP. If “black lives matter”, then it should matter that it’s a BABY, not simply a choice.

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