Saturday, April 13, 2024

Part 3: What Women Want – A Better Image.

May 13, 2013 by  
Filed under Ent., News, Opinion, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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( They say you should always write about what you know, your experiences and how you are living.   As a self-proclaimed writer, this is easier said than done since when I do have time to write I can hardly put two sentences together.  Well, if you did not know it by now having a  baby will do that to you. The truth is as a stay-at-home mom I spend the majority of my time talking baby language to my one year daughter, playing silly games and reading the same story over and over again.   Also, I am part entertainer, unlicensed nurse and therapist.  Don’t ask!  But in between baby duties when my daughter is taking her famous long naps so later I could have the pleasure of sleeping at three in the morning, I often find myself watching reality TV.   I love love reality TV, and I make no excuses because I find them not only entertaining, but very often have you looking inward and asking questions like: where do an individual draws the line?   

A difficult question to answer considering one report  by Nielsen, which stated that  “reality programming continued to garner high viewership…”   Another report by South Source, a publication of south university went to say, “reality TV has opened our eyes to what is compelling and informative in our worldmarriedtomedicine and worlds we don’t live in,” says Scott Manville, founder and president of the TV Writer’s Vault.  Manville also acknowledged, “there’s a lot of low-grade content out there, but if we’re looking at the good it’s done, we have to acknowledge how it’s entertained and educated us. Viewers tune in. Advertisers respond to the numbers. Networks produce more to sell.”  Certainly, there is no question that reality TV is popular, but if you ask me I think reality TV is becoming more and more low-grade, and less entertaining.

Being one of those viewers I find myself watching a lot of reality TV, and one particular show that I watch is a show on Bravo called, Married to Medicine which airs on Sundays at 8 P.M.   When the show first aired I thought to myself, finally a show I can enjoy watching about powerful educated black women representing; proving that women are more than gold diggers, video vixens and welfare recipients.

Proving that we are educated black women who live in mansions and drive expensive cars.  And serious minded business owners. I mean, what better way to prove to our daughters that staying and finishing school does pay off.  Regretfully that was not what I saw from the show. What I saw was yet another unfulfilling show from Bravo about six females: two black female doctors and four doctor’s wives.  Even saying the women look the part, but doesn’t play the part would be an understatement.  

I must admit, watching reality TV as affected me in the following ways: it has made me angry, sad, and angry again.  Which is why I was thinking, maybe it’s time for me to stop watching reality TV.   The scene that I witnessed on Married to Medicine one Sunday evoked so many emotions in me, it left me speechless.  I became so overwhelmed with feelings, I cried.   Now, I know this is reality TV,  and as such it is edited to cause reactions in viewers, but this was too much.  

Let me just say this,  to watch two African American (grown) women fighting at a black tie party in the age of our first African American First Lady Michelle Obama, was not only shocking, and disturbing, it was an eye opener.  I thought to myself: we don’t stand a chance against stereotypes and biases that plague us as women.   I ask myself: how is it that we got this far, and yet still manage to ruin it by not caring?  And its not just the women of Married to Medicine, it’s the women from all the housewives franchise on Bravo.   it’s the Bad Girls Club on Oxygen, the feuding co-workers/friends from Jerseylicious on Style-Network and the women from the Basketball Wives franchise on VH1.  And that is just to name a few.   

The women of Married to Medicine are women of means who have reached a certain class in society and yet nothing has changed.  Personally, I was ashamed for them. Sure,  I understood where Mariah was coming from, because she was angry at Toya for talking about her personal business.  And personally, it would have taken a lot from me to remain calm, but I believe it’s better to say what you want to say woman to woman, than to make a public spectacle of yourself.  But, those two fools did not care and ended up fighting at the party causing them to be kicked out.  Which goes to show,  just because you wear nice, expensive clothes and talk proper, (and I use that word loosely) it does not mean you are a classy lady, and if you behave like a thug you will be treated like thug.

On the whole, It’s moments like these that I think we as women need to seriously rethink the image we are portraying and selling to the viewers.  Ladies – I love me a strong black sister; well educated, well spoken and funny as hell, but unfortunately we are not portraying that and consequently are not representing for our future generation. So, let me put this as gently as I can: it’s not cute for two grown women to fight at a black tie party or any party for that matter.  Being unsupportive of another woman’s success, equals one less woman with the potential to break the cycle of stereotype and disrespect that continues to be part of our society today. Please conduct thyself.

Staff Writer; Kency Desmangles

One can also connect with this sister via Facebook; K. Desmangles.


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