Dear Young Ladies.
(ThySistas.com) As the year comes to a close it is safe to say we all want a better 2017. There are some things my dear young ladies you may want to consider as you embark upon your path to womanhood. To say “I’m a queen” is one thing, but to hold yourself to a higher standard is another. One can’t chant that affirmation, expect to be treated as such, and behave like a commoner. There are things our young brothers need to work on in their path to manhood, but that is for the Kings to discuss with them. As women it is our responsibility, and privilege, to help young ladies understand a few things while on their path.
There are some double standards you don’t want to engage in because it’s wrong. You don’t value your image because others will judge you…you value it because it is your integrity. Your character and integrity as a human being, and woman is the most valuable thing you own. Being a woman is no easy task, and all of us have required help along the way. Know that you will make mistakes, as that is a part of life, but you don’t have to allow your mistakes to become your habits. Respect for yourself and others will get you very far. Below are a few things every young woman should remember.
- You only get respect to the degree you respect yourself.
- Hitting a man is never okay.
This is one of the double standards that is simply wrong. We live in a world that views domestic violence as a women’s issue. This is inaccurate…it’s a human issue. So yes there are women that physically abuse men and it is wrong. You have no rights throwing punches because you feel he should never hit you back. Just as you are someone’s daughter…he is someone’s son. Both of you are human beings. Nothing you say should cause a man to raise his hands…I’m sure we agree. Well, there is nothing he should say that causes you to raise your hand. Give what you want to receive. No one should be a victim of abuse.
- Calling yourself, or other Sistahs, a b*tch is never cool.
Queens are not b*tches. You are not a dog, and neither are other sistahs. Just a man ought not call you this…you really should speak that upon yourself. Value self-higher than that of an animal.
- Having a voice and your own mind does not make you angry.
Being your own woman, being able to think for yourself, and intelligently voice your perspective does NOT make you angry. This also does not make you bitter. Some people will try to impose that upon you because it is their perspective, and that is not your problem. Speak, and live your truth. Never allow yourself to be silence for the benefit of someone else’s feelings. Even your intelligent presentation will be seen as angry because some will never view your voice as important. You must acknowledge and value your voice.
- Black women DO NOT have to be enemies.
No one will understand your path and struggle like another sistah. Society, and reality TV, reads you foolishness stating that black women constantly fight each other. We would not have been able to come this far if that were the case. There are sistahs out there that you will meet that will support you, and walk with you. No every black woman won’t be your friend, but black women are not your natural enemy.
- All Black men do not hate black women.
So many of us are fed the lie that black men, as a whole, have turned their back on us. Young sistah that is simply not the truth. Yes, there are some black men that preference outside of their race. There are some that are scared from previous relationships. However, the same can be said for some black women. Regardless of what the media says more black men are still married to black women. Allow yourself to see people based on who they are verses a society based assumption.
Dear your ladies…young sistahs your life is precious and valuable. You will one day be Queens, and mothers. You will teach the young and contribute to the life of another young sistah. This road called life can be difficult, especially as a black person in America, but you are never alone. There are many sistahs out here are more than willing to help you become the best you. Never discount or short change your value nor worth. Know that like so many of us…you will also give birth to community. Decide what your walk and value will be.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr