Being Proactive, Not Passive: Ways You Can Help Out A Loved One In Their Time Of Needs.
August 22, 2016 by ThySista
Filed under Business, Health & Wellness, Money, Opinion, Weekly Columns
(ThySistas.com) We all know the basics of providing love and support to loved ones in their time of needs. But how can you be more proactive in how you help them. This short guide aims to break down three different methods you should try out.
Don’t just listen… recommend they speak to a counselor
We all know that the best friends are also great listeners. You’ll know yourself that your friend will want and need someone to talk to in their time of need. You also know things like don’t judge them, try not to interrupt them. Certainly, don’t talk over them.
This point isn’t at all saying that listening well and listening hard isn’t valuable. Of course it is. But alongside this, something more proactive you can do is point them towards a professional listener. 
We’re talking about counselors, of course. Counselors and therapists are trained in this art, whereas you are not. Not only can a counselor offer another set of ears, but they can also start to put some real healing and solutions in place. If your friend is reluctant at first, offer to try out a session with the same counselor first! Or offer to drive them to the session, or possibly even go in with them!
Don’t just give them advice…. Point them in the right direction
Take the example of a previously active and life-loving friend becoming disabled. Not only will this be a devastating blow to them, but it will also be one to their lifestyle. Some things and undoubtedly going to have to change. This will become even more apparent if they are no longer able to work or earn the same amount as before. So, don’t just suggest to them that they should look at getting disability benefits. Help them out by doing some of the legwork, and research how they can do. Speaking to a lawyer is a wise first move, as they will be able to advise you on what they are entitled too. Your friend will have enough on; this is something you can do to help that has the potential to massively help them. And not just for today- for the rest of their lives.
Don’t change how you treat them… be just the same as always
It could be the case that your friend or loved one’s needs help because they have gone through a shift or change in their life. Perhaps they recently finalized their divorce or came out to their loved ones. Whatever it is that has changed in their life, lifestyle or circumstances, do not change how you treat them. Even being extra-nice or extra-sweet can be misread as fake and forced. They loved you and your company before, and that will not have changed. Of course, it is important to be able to read their mood. You don’t want to be cracking crazy jokes if they are sad and crying. But don’t try and morph into a different person to please them- it simply won’t work. Be yourself with them and you allow them to be themselves with you.
Staff Writer; Sherry Spelman
