Saturday, June 15, 2024

Stop Asking for Advice.

August 27, 2020 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Having a council of sistas you can look to for wisdom is priceless. Knowing you are important enough to have women pour of themselves into you is valuable and affirming. You matter to the universe and our sistas are often push the energy that is needed to keep us mindful of this great truth. It is important that this important part of your life is not taken for granted. It is time you take a long hard look about the word advice. It takes prayer, meditation and the gathering of energy to advise another. One of the reasons some black women are feeling so depleted in their spirit is because this pouring out has gone well past the capacity those sistas should be expending.

When you say advise, you are inviting someone into your situation to access and direct you in the area requested; depending on the matter the council can end up touching various areas of your life as they are intertwined with the space whereby council is needed. Those that love you deeply will pour of themselves regardless of the cost. They will get up, stop their progress, put others on hold, and only they know what other sacrifices to stand in the gap with you. If you are not ready…stop asking for advice as it can eventually become abusive.

If you want to vent let your circle know so they can support you in the manner that you need whole not spending the wrong energy. You will often demand the same consideration. When you decide you want to be advised make sure you have prepared yourself. If the sista you sit with cares for you she will tell you the truth in love. This truth might not always be the easiest thing to hear, and it can be uncomfortable to the heart and spirit. However, in order to elevate and grow uncomfortable spaces will be necessary. Getting honest advice can cause you to become emotional and that is understandable.

However, berating your council, vicious sarcasm, finding a problem for every solution, and physically attacking is not going to get you on the other side of your situation, but it will isolate the sista doing the pouring into you. When you lash out…you hurt her. When you decide to turn into something out of character, she bears the brunt of your anger which has nothing to do with her. Consider this as when you are in her shoes, and you will be, you might find yourself feeling you don’t deserve said treatment. Hypocrisy is never a positive space.

There is nothing wrong with sistas helping each other shoulder pain or trying times. No one stands alone. However, it is important to try to remember those that love us and stand with us even in our darkness. If you know you are not ready for advice don’t seek it. Allow your support spaces to pour a cooling balm on your heart. Let them help you dry your tears and just be there.

Seeking advice when you are able to receive means you can hear what the sista is saying clearly without the misinterpretation. You can see the solution options…you are open. When the energy is being shifted to you it can be absorbed. In this space the love sacrifice that come with advising is not given in vain.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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