Saturday, April 13, 2024

Is The Lockdown Bringing Out The Worst In Your Partner?

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( The COVID-19 pandemic closely followed by the widespread BLM protests all over the world have taken a global society that has been simmering for some time and stoked them up to boiling point. Many of us are feeling scared, confused, agitated, anxious or simply exhausted. And while the lockdown may have at first seemed like a new honeymoon for you and your partner, things have gradually started to deteriorate. 

As tensions have risen and nerves have become frayed, many couples have begun to find it increasingly difficult to cohabit. Small arguments over nothing can flare up, and people we thought we knew inside out can show us a nasty side. If you feel that the lockdown is bringing out the worst in your partner, don’t wait for things to escalate. Take decisive, fair action. Here we’ll look at how to deal with this potentially volatile situation. 

Open and honest communication can stop problems before they happen

Love is a voluntary act of surrender… but that doesn’t mean you can’t take control. You’re both anxious, you’re both stressed. And just because lockdown measures are starting to ease, that doesn’t mean that you can assume it’s fair sailing from here on out. If your partner makes you feel upset, angry, ashamed or unsafe, you can’t afford to sweep it under the rug. You need to be open, honest and calm in discussing it, and explain the consequences if your partner doesn’t stop doing things that hurt you- whether hurting you is their intention or not.

Make sure you both have a safe space to let off steam

It’s important to remember that there may be stressors which are affecting your partner in a number of ways and that this doesn’t necessarily make them (or you) a monster. When two people are in a heightened state of distress, they can bring out the worst in one another. Which is why it’s a good idea for you both to have a safe space where you can go to let of steam and enjoy your solitude, so you can come back to one another as better versions of yourselves. 

Know the signs of domestic violence. They’re not all physical!

Your partner losing their temper under stressful circumstances is one thing. Deliberate acts of domestic violence are something different. And the unfortunate truth is that since the lockdown began there has been a sharp rise in instances of domestic violence. It’s important to learn the signs of domestic violence because they’re not always physical. This may also prove useful if your partner accuses you of domestic violence and you need to build a case with a lawyer like Wilson Law. Instances of non-physical domestic violence may include;

  • Saying things to degrade or humiliate you
  • Controlling the clothes you wear, or who you can talk to and see 
  • Monitoring your messages and / or taking control of your phone
  • Telling you that you’re useless or that you couldn’t cope without them

If you don’t feel safe… get out!

Finally, if you no longer feel safe under the same roof as your partner, get out. Lockdown be damned! Call a friend or find a refuge near you. These are tough times for everyone… but there’s no excuse for abusive behaviors. 

Staff Writer; Sherry Moore

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