(ThySistas.com) Marriage is beautiful. The ability to meet someone, see yourself in them, bond with them, and grow with them is a blessing that should never be taken lightly. This is the very thing many people in the world are fighting to find. The problem is there is a distortion in the reality of marriage. Every single married couple you know faces challenges. No matter how much love is on the table, or how perfectly they appear every single time you see them…they have battles. When beauty is discussed the part that is often left our is what it takes to achieve and maintain beauty. As women we know from a physical perspective that beauty has a price, it requires consistency, it takes time, it can be problematic, on many days you won’t like the process, patience is mandatory, and it can be quite painful. The truth is this is the reality of marriage. Sometimes love is not the issue; some days you fight simply to like the person you are married. This doesn’t make you a horrible wife, it makes you human.
Life on its own can be difficult to manage. As we grow we are in a constant state of learning oneself, and how to manage different feeling and emotions we have regarding self and the world around us. None of this has anything to do with your spouse. Maybe you have had traumatic
experiences that were absolutely devastating, you lost a parent, you lost a child, you are still fighting for career dreams with roadblocks that pure drive don’t quite crack, your job applies head splitting pressure and obstacles, or you are dealing with insecurities physically and internally; every day you are learning more about how to heal and move forward. Whether these things happened before your marriage, or during said marriage, it can have an effect on how you navigate life with your spouse. Some days you might not like your spouse as much simply because you are fighting to like yourself.
When life is acting a fool it’s hard to realize that the above-mentioned experiences are things your spouse may be battling as well, and neither of you should disregard this truth in each other. Just as he should not disregard what you are facing and its toll…you must be careful not to serve him the platter you never want to receive. Even in all of this marriage is beautiful. It’s human to admit that every now and then you feel like disappearing to a space whereby you won’t hear or see anyone…and that includes your spouse. There are times when the man you adore and find absolutely sexy might look like a troll for a split second because you are quite upset about a situation (this is where you laugh out loud).
However, he’s your friend. You love this person as they are apart of who you are. They stretch you to better learn how to communicate, they teach you about the art of patience, lead you to a closer relationship with God, force you to accept the areas of self that you need to address while forcing you to acknowledge the greatness in you, they really are your better half and they help you summon strength you forgot, or never knew, you had. Some of these breakthroughs come while you are fighting for like. When this beauty is being cultivated you very well may dislike them and that is natural of any relationship. Many of us have a girlfriend that we love as a sister…but there have been days we didn’t like her either. It’s life.
Marriage is one of the hardest things many of us will ever do. It is not some perfect situation that upon saying I do magically appear out of the sky. There is no married couple that has not had rough patches…they just tend to have things in them, and around them, that keep them grounded. Don’t believe the hype.; marriage is work. Furthermore, there is a work one should consider doing within themselves before embarking on this journey. Both parties in a marriage are imperfect, and they come together to create excellence in this life. They are a team that functions better every day on the back end of every storm. Eventually like isn’t so hard of a fight because the reality that love is a binding agent becomes real. That doesn’t happen on the wedding day…that will come much later, and the beauty that manifests is worth the process.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.