Friday, April 12, 2024

No Kids on Purpose.

January 15, 2020 by  
Filed under Education, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Sinbad, comedian extraordinaire and well-known for his performance on “A Different World”, has a comedy special where he talks about people with no kids and the exuberance they experience.  They look happy. They look young. They look at peace.  They look like that on purpose.  Most cultures and societies see children as a sign of wealth and productivity (and not just because of reproduction).  They should. Children are an amazing gift to those who are blessed or lucky to have them. But…to paraphrase Jay-Z…they “ain’t for everybody”.  Those who are in their 20s and 30s should not be pressured into bringing forth life into this world just because of age.  Sometimes, having no children is more of a blessing than a curse.

Having children causes physical changes, and I am not just speaking to the child birth.  Taking care of little ones involves movement and work in order to make sure they are taken care of.  My brother and sister-in-law helped me to learn this in seventh grade when my nephew came into this world.  He has always been heavily involved in sports, and he currently is pursuing basketball with a feverance. And where were his parents when he was doing his activities?  Sitting in the stands, coaching, or helping in some way with the team. This involves many hours away from home and thousands of dollars spent on fast food which could lead to an increase in weight (Well, it did lead to a weight increase.).  Fortunately, my brother and sister-in-law have an awesome relationship with their respective gyms so they look awesome for their age.  This did not happen overnight. They had to work extremely hard physically to stay in shape in the midst of supporting my nephews. Some people are built with that drive to maintain.  Some people are not.  But physical is not the only effect children have on adults.

True care for someone other than yourself requires you to think and develop a plan of how you will make sure they have values, they understand the importance of these values, and they are able to implement these values in daily life. Kids need experiences both good and bad to learn how to carry out these values.  This will require mental and emotional effort on the part of parents. They need to use energy and effort to help their children through these moments.

Sometimes, they will cry when their little one falls or has their first breakup. Sometimes,  they will be the biggest cheerleaders when their son or daughter hits the ball off the tee.  While it seems like it does not take much effort on the parent’s part,  it takes a lot of effort and maybe a little Starbucks to maintain the energy needed to do these things. It does not just happen out of thin air. Everyone is not built or prepared to take on such responsibility. It doesn’t mean those people are inhumane or bad.  They just know what they can or can not handle.

Are there people out there who want to endure all of the beautiful and sacred moments with little boys and girls of their own?  Absolutely. Those people should be applauded and awarded for their consistent effort to influence and shape the future.  That does not mean that you take out your frustrations or aggravations on those who choose to live lives without little people.  There are many factors that you may not be privy to to elaborate on why the stork has not dropped anything on their doorstep…and may never do so.  For some,  physical ailments keep them from reproduction. For others, time and making a living keep them from bringing forth a new generation. Whatever the reason may be, do not allow it to keep you from treating parents or non-parents with any less respect.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.

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