Friday, May 24, 2024

You Don’t Need Permission to Parent Your Child.

January 15, 2020 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( It is common to hear the perspective that every child is different. Parents are told it is necessary to get involved in your child’s academic process, help your child work on good behavior, invest in your child learning life skills, and they need to be mannerable…yet individuals. The thing is no one tells us how to achieve this, and the mom shaming among women is real. While being told accountability is necessary when we hold our children accountable there will be a mom waiting to tell us we are too hard on our children. It seems everyone wants to chime in on what doesn’t work, but once the child becomes unruly the parent is not doing enough or they should disregard advice and just get the child where they need to be. Do you see how confusing this sounds? The thing is you don’t need anyone’s validation or permission regarding how you decide to parent your child. Every factor in the life of the child will change except you. You must look at the personality of your child, the order of your home, and the goal the child needs to reach and govern yourself accordingly.

Behavior is a huge issue in the life of a grade school child. Parents have to realize schools don’t treat black children fairly when it comes to behavior, and they are even worse when dealing with black boys. No child should feel unloved, nor be abused. With that being established we can’t take a passive approach to the development of our children. It is important that we prepare them for the reality of the world we life in.

This doesn’t mean you have to snatch their innocence like edges in a fight, but it does mean you must put them in the best position to be successful. The school can work with you, but you don’t need their permission to parent you child. Far too often when dealing with very young children teachers may give them demerits or comment about “needs improvement behavior”, and when they realize those children face consequences for their actions it is suggested that you can give them a bit of leeway. Don’t let that deter you because the teacher didn’t give this leeway when she put their negative behavior on paper…on record. If the school is not going to give chances, they are out of line to suggest you don’t do what’s in the best interest of your child.

Parenting is not easy. Motherhood is not easy, however sometimes we can make it a bit more difficult by allowing the empty positions of others to effect how we are going to parent. Okay so they think you are mean mommy because your child has to follow rules, be respectful, has a regulated routine that they must follow, and they know you are not their playmate. If these are a few of the things that make you mean…then so be it. You are instilling principles, morals, and values into your child.

You are teaching them how to govern themselves properly in various different settings that is appropriate for the society we live in. Never allow someone to make you feel you need to meet their standard for parenting when they are not as invested in your baby as you are…no one will ever fight for your child the way you will. No, you aren’t perfect but do your best to parent in the best interest of your child unapologetically.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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