Friday, April 12, 2024

Are You Ready to Get Married.

January 6, 2020 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Marriage can be a beautiful state. It’s a space whereby you can expect someone to be there when life spirals crazy, and someone is there to celebrate all the joy this life can bring. Marriage can alleviate the feeling and reality of lonely. It’s great to have that person there you can chill, laugh, and just be with. Marriage can also be wonderful when you marry into a family that is excepting of you. This allows you to have more family that is about supporting and celebrating you. If you don’t come from a large family, or don’t have a positive family situation this can be a wonderful benefit to one’s marriage.

Once can list many benefits to being married, but it does have its moments. Marriage is work; no matter how much to people have in common coming together to build a life together has its challenges. Some get married without considering if they are ready for the daunting endeavor. There is more to the process, of course, than planning the wedding, and attending the counseling. One should consider their preparation for marriage, if one wants that in life, while they are single. These are a few things you may want to consider before you meet “the One”.

1. Are you a selfless person? Marriage requires plenty of patience, and a selfless heart. There will be times that the needs of your household will outweigh individual positions. Just as you will be in spaces whereby your spouse will have to put you first…you must be able to do the same.

2. Are you able to compromise about the home? When we are single everything is ordered in the house in a manner that fits our needs and taste. Getting married means factoring the likes of another. Everything in the house can’t be solely as you like it. You may love having a yellow bedroom but marry a man that hates bright colors…compromise is needed. This might seem minor, but if you are building a life together details matter.

3. How do you feel about money? Do you believe in joint, or separate, accounts? There is no right or wrong answer because it will depend on what you believe and your view on marriage, but you still need to know your stance on such. Money is one are of marriage that can cause major strife. Are you a saver or spender? Working on being more balanced can help you in a marriage.

4. How do you handle disagreement? It is understood that no one should tolerate abuse in any form. Though our society puts that position on men it is important to know that there are many women that can’t settle disagreement without verbal and/or physical abuse. furthermore, there are too many people that run from confrontation allowing their partner to do as they please while suffering in silence. Understanding how you communicate and owning your methods of handling disagreement is very important. You want to be sure that you give your partner what you expect in the area of treatment when as disagreement araises.

5. Are you still battling with the pain of past relationships? This is very important as it can affect security, trust, communication, and so many other areas. No one is saying be perfect because that is impossible. However, it is very important to consider taking the time to heal before entering a marriage so that you can truly see your spouse for who they are. Doing this also ties in with the previous point because where we’ve been can have a strong influence on how we handle challenges and disagreements. Take the time for your self to usher in healing.

Preparation for marriage before there is a mate is something many are not taught. We come with a bad of experiences and things we’ve seen. It’s important to know where we stand regarding healing, money, family, children, and challenges before joining ourselves to another person. Hopefully, they will do the same.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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