Saturday, June 3, 2023

Don’t Walk The Line. Draw It. 

October 24, 2019 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Countries have borders.  States have borders. Cities have borders. Houses have borders.  You would think with so many places having boundaries that people would understand the purpose of borders:  expectations of limits. Borders assist in helping people know what they can and can not do. So what would make you believe that you as a person should not have the same?  Boundaries are not just for locations; they assist in helping you know a lot about what you can handle and who you are.

I know so many people that cringe at the thought of a needle coming anywhere near their skin, but I am not one of those people. Needles have been an avid part of my life because I was allergic to practically everything as a kid.  I could handle what most people would literally run away from. Boundaries are like those needles; they can help you determine what you are willing to deal with and what is just not in your power to handle. Will it take trials and tribulations to figure out what your boundaries are for you? Of course.  Just like I had needles to test my allergies you will have tests to figure out what works for you and what does not. It will also help you to learn who you are.

DNA does a fantastic job of setting the blueprint of who you are as a result of your parents.  Notice I said it sets the blue print. I never said it determines who you are or what you will become. That, my dear, is your job.  You have to decide what you are willing to put up with. When you do that, it will give you clues to who you are as a person. Astrology tries to guess. Personality quizzes will do the same.  None of those have the ability to decide the limits you have with others. Developing your boundaries will help you create not just the person you want to be, but the people who are a part of who you are. 

For the longest time, I allowed others to determine what I was willing to do or not do. I thought that people would appreciate me more. If I let them have control, I would have more friends.  I learned as an adult that if you give someone one inch that they may take 5 miles…and a goat…and your private jet…and a bag of your favorite tootsie rolls. In other words, they may take what makes you who you are. No one should ever have that power over you. Henry Cloud said it best: “You get what you tolerate.” Choose to tolerate what you are willing to handle within the reins of who you are.  That is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.

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