Monday, November 18, 2019


Sometimes Silence is the Answer.

October 6, 2019 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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(ThySistas.com) No one wants to feel that they are not being heard in a situation. Being silenced is uncomfortable, and can make one feel invisible in a relationship or work space. Far too often we tend to push our verbiage causing a rift that later we are unable to fix. When dealing with men sometimes silence is the path needed. Constant repetition that turns into nagging is an aggravation to whoever has to listen to it. However, it’s also a pain to be the person that feels they aren’t being heard, or that their feelings are being disregarded. In relationships sometimes we have to take a moment, and silence self.

There are many reasons we may not be getting the responses we want, or need, and though it could be he’s not listening…sometimes he might not be able respond. Those of us that may have anxiety, or are seriously scarred from past relationships must try to remember this man isn’t your previous one. Sometimes it helps to remember you don’t want to your treatment to be based on what he has been through with other women.

When dealing with past hurt it’s easy to assume a man is treating you the way your ex did. In this we tend to assume harshly if we aren’t responded to in a matter of moments. I’m that space too many of us get upset, send text messages we shouldn’t, and leave other messages accusing the man of the worst without cause. If you know you are still sore from previous situations silence is the answer. Allow the truth of the matter to show itself verses you assuming. In doing this you’ll know for sure whether your suspicions are warranted. If that man was at work and could respond, knocked out sleep, or feeling bad you have avoided causing a serious fight. There are times when our feelings, though they belong to us, are not right in a situation so we can’t always lead with them.

However, there are situations by which your feelings aren’t betraying you, and your past isn’t an issue…the person you are with simple doesn’t value you. In these situations far too often you have explained yourself, and pleaded until you’re blue in the face. In that case the answer is still silence. This isn’t silence because you don’t want to assume, this is silence because you are done talking to a brick wall. If a man doesn’t want to acknowledge you, and communicate properly no amount of talking, fussing nor pleading is going to change his behaviors. In that space you must question if you should be moving out of that situation.

Silence can be the answer in many situations given the circumstances. Choosing silence as an answer when it’s necessary doesn’t mean you are trading in your right to be heard and acknowledged. It means you know when fairness is needed, and when talking no longer serves a purpose. In this you are saving yourself from embarrassment in one area, and drama in another. In every instance you are valuing your metal health, and energy. Avoiding stressful toxic situations is always a positive move.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

 


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