Friday, April 12, 2024

Allow the Vulnerable to be Seen.

September 19, 2019 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Strength is valued in our community. There seems to be a particular kind of pride in being able to say “I’ll handle it”. Far too many times we sit back, as women, trying to figure out what we will do next to better self, and family. There always seems to be a need that has to be worked out in some tedious manner, and our ability to work out the problem, execute the solution, and do so in a manner way that allows others to breathe easy becomes a habit. The problem is the solutions are not easy. There are times we hold our head wondering what are we going to do help keep food on the table, and a root over our head a minimum. We don’t want to be a burden to others, and if we have a partner we might be trying not to add to their running over plate. Far too often we cry in silence alone. It is necessary to understand that others can forget to value what they cannot see. Furthermore, it’s okay to show those we love the process we endure to make ends meet.

It’s understandable you don’t want to have tears flowing in front of your partner, children, family, and friends. The problem with hiding your feelings is they don’t know they exist, and that can spoil those around you. What you do becomes the expectation, and it causes you to function under more pressure. You may notice that less help is offered, conversations about important matters go in one ear and out the other, you’re constantly repeating yourself, or questioned on matters you brought to the table for discussion but heard silence. Much of this takes place when the expectation is you’ll handle the situation the house is facing flawlessly. If you miss something in the process that’s the point by which you get feedback. When you address the fact that you spoke on the matter only to be seen as giving a “monologue” you will feel the lack of value in that moment.

Your family needs to know, and see, that you are just one person doing the best you can. This means there are times you have others to actively help find family solutions. When you feel the pressure of your personal state becoming overwhelming allow them to be there for you. If you battle with illness, or just had a baby, and your limitations are affecting your abilities let your family see it, and support you through it. Dealing with these things along give a false sense of strength to those you love. It will leave you feeling unappreciated and disregarded in your family and village. That feeling can lead to lashing out, and breakdowns in relationships that could have been avoided.

Take the time to open up about struggles you face when trying to help move your family forward. Doing this will not diminish your value nor strength in their eyes. It will allow them to see how hard you push past you to stand with them. Just as you want your family to know they don’t have to be perfect, you must show them the same thing in kind. This can help save relationships, and keep the peace.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.


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