(ThySistas.com) The past helps shape who we are today. Unfortunately, many of us did not get the things we were entitled to as a child simply because we existed. Every woman didn’t have the opportunity to be a care free child, loved, protected, and raised in structure and culture. Too many women experienced hatred and abused in places that should have been safe spaces. There are those that harbored those experiences never telling a soul, so though they feel unprotected their silence protected their abused. Then there are women that spoke up only to be told they were lying. It is gut wrenching to know that the one person whose hatred some women had to live with was the woman that gave birth to them.
Yes, they were hated, envied, and abused by their own mother. When these situations exist, they create walls forged in brokenness. Some women find it difficult to trust a single human sole and push the world away, while others can be too trusting clinging to anyone 
that they perceive to like them let alone love them. Either extreme is dangerous and adds to the wall of pain that already exist. Underneath is all is a human being wanting to be loved, protected, and accepted by someone that is genuine.
We’ve all heard the phase” if you want something different you will have to do something different.” In many cases ladies this is the truth. Though there has been abuse, hurt, and suffering many women still long to be loved, and have viable positive relationships of their own. The problem arises when its time to see a person for who they are and assess them without the experiences of the past clouding one’s vision. This can seem very difficult when you feel vulnerable and doing want to be hurt and misused again.
It is very important to remember that just as you did not deserve the abuse and ill treatment you received…the person before you that has not harmed you doesn’t deserve that either. It is very important not to allow our pain to become a point of hypocrisy in our life, at that point we become both the abused and the abuser which only makes matters worse.
You must take the time to access where you have been, and what has happened. Remember you owe no one your peace…not even your parents. As a child you couldn’t stop your mother from hurting you, however as an adult you have the right to be your own person and the legality to make it happen. You don’t have to allow that energy into your home nor life. This isn’t an act of hating your parents, or family that has abused you. If you choose you can forgive, and love them, from a distance. However, this gives you the space to heal and see the areas whereby you have been controlled by your hurt. Identifying those areas will allow you the opportunity for healing which leads you down a path of doing something different.
When you choose to do something different you allow yourself to see the best in you. You acknowledge and own that you are intelligent, beautiful, strong, and deserve love in your life. In that space you are open to receive goodness and love from others. Doing something different has to begin with you. You are not responsible for what is done to you as a child, but you can decide your path as an adult.
When we look at children, we try to encourage them to move beyond what they are facing. We want them to be accountable to for taking the initiative to impact their future. We charge them to do something different than what is happening around them. Sisters, if we demand this from children, we must show them the way by living this very same principle. Start with self, and the different will come.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.