Thursday, July 18, 2024

Do We Teach Our Sons to Value Women.

January 5, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Love your mother. Respect your mother. No matter what happens in your life no one will ever be there for you, nor love you like your mother. Mother knows best so value that council above all others. Never take your mother for granted. As your mother I cherish you above all others and always will so make your mother proud? No one will ever be good enough for momma’s baby. Mother should always come first.  How many mothers have instilled these values into their sons verbally or by action? What message does this send to our sons? It’s a blessing to have a mother that loves and values you. It is right that one respects their mother, but in truth children should respect their parents. It was once said you know how a man will treat you by the way he treats his mother.

Ladies this is not always the case because just might be trained the level of love and respect you see to only one woman…his mother. This is not something we can put on dad, nor is it something instilled by dads. Many fathers and mothers fight about this very issue regarding boys…. the making of what seems to be a “mommas boy”.

It is important to say there is nothing wrong with honoring one’s mother. Truth is she does give something no one else could give…life. However, we have to teach our sons to love more than just us. We set the standard as mothers and are to be revered but we should not allow it to become a form of worship to the point that we hinder the growth of our son. In this space the expectations we should have for our son is lowered. Excuses are made for bad behavior as long as the actions are not against mom. Too often sons are allowed to devalue other women because mom doesn’t want that son to love no woman more than mom.

We’ve seen the idea in movies like “Jumping the Broom” whereby mom almost ruins her son’s wedding because she’s afraid of losing him. In this instance mothers subconsciously place their sons in a lane that supersedes that of a child. Sons rival spouses in this space and that is very unhealthy. At no point and time is one’s son their man.  That child has to be allowed to grow up, in a healthy manner, and have the opportunity to find a kind of love he can’t receive from his mother.

If we aren’t careful this behavior will teach our some to value no woman but mom, and in that space he isn’t fit for any woman. Mothers have to realize this is selfish, and unfair to the son. If not careful you can lose your son trying to hold on to him in a space he doesn’t belong. It is scary when sons are valued over spouses…mom has a man but seats her son in the place of his father. This can cause strife between father and son, and in the marriage. In this space moms often intervene when fathers are trying to instill proper manhood lessons into their son. Let his father make a man of him.

For all the love in the world that is not something we can do better than dad. Demand the respect of your son as his mother but teach him to value women as a whole and others. Help give him the tools to be an amazing husband and father one day in his own family. Don’t make his life about you.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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