(ThySistas.com) I remember, about one year ago, Loneliness had come, uninvited, and had moved into my house for what looked like an extended stay. We didn’t speak to each other as we moved through my home together in a steely silence until eventually, we seemed to just settle into a sad resignation. Finally, at the end of a long day as I faced an even longer night…I wrote the prayer that was simply titled,
“The Lamentations of the Unloved…”
I told God that I had never been loved well in this life and that my heart was beginning to shrink with the atrophy of neglect and misuse. In what I believed to be my final conversation with God about my chronic and persistent condition, I simply shared the
qualities of love that my never-known partner would have. I said that I would love to have a partner that I trust enough to close my eyes and KNOW that he is covering me. Or to KNOW that he isn’t looking over my head and leering at my daughters. To KNOW that when I can’t, he can. To KNOW that when I cry, he cares. To KNOW that he loves God more than he loves me and that is the only reason that I can trust that my lover is as good as the love he gives me.
And then he showed up, all easy like he was simply returning home after a long trip. In his bags were the gifts of my long-forgotten prayers…and he even brought to me things I never even knew I needed. Like quietness. Or long rides going nowhere on sunny days. And also, a devotion that was a daily decision, not merely a fleeting and fickle feeling. While he loved my words, he also listened carefully to my silences. He taught me. He laughed at my quirks that had made many others cringe. He prayed for me. He adored me…
Until I met this man, I didn’t understand the significance of taking my partner’s name in the holiness of marriage. But I can say now, with clarity and conviction, that I cannot wait for the day that I will be joined with him as his wife and accept his name as my own.
I love you, William P Muhammad. Thank you for every one of the last 365 days!
#BetterTogetherForever
Staff Writer; Lisa R. Partee (a.k.a Ruby TruthSeeker)
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