Sunday, July 14, 2024

Tell the Truth.

November 28, 2018 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( “It’s going to be ok. Time will heal your broken heart. Just pray about it. You will figure it out. Everything will be fine.” They said.

Just a few pointers people gave me when a loved one passed away. This was not the immediate truth. They said these things to me so that I would feel better. What they didn’t know was that I was listening to them. I heard them, their words of comfort spoke to me. I thought it would get better, because I was doing everything they told me to do.

Pray about it and ask for your heart to be healed again. Ask for guidance, he’ll show you the way. I prayed and prayed about it. Yet and still my heart was not healed. Surely my friends and family were just trying to help. I just wish they had told me about the immediate truth.

And by immediate truth I mean what I will face in the immediate present. They should have told me, that time does not heal a broken heart quickly, and sometimes it can’t at all. Time makes it easier to cope when a loved one is gone. We must take the time to adjust to a different life and schedule without that loved one. Daily routines with that person are no more. Life will never be the same without that person. As time go by you will begin to smile more and cry less as you reminisce on all the good times that were had between you both.

No one ever talks about the stages of grief which are; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  Many people go through the stage of not accepting that their loved one is gone. All they want is to be shaken from the dream they think they are in. They don’t really know how to do deal with the reality of things at that moment.

The order of the stages of grief differs from one person to another. One may begin to bargain first then get angry last. While the other may accept the fact first and then isolate themselves last.

No matter how someone grieves, we must tell them the truth of what they may face. We must help those people by letting them know what to expect to.

The reality of losing a loved one in my opinion is this, the pain that becomes a scar never goes away. It is always there. Death will either bring families closer together or have split them further apart. Speaking from experience, the first year is the hardest year, all you want is for your loved one to come home. And let’s talk about the emotions that comes from all around, sometimes you want to be bothered, and other times you just want to be alone.

I cannot speak for every grieving person, because it is very different for everyone, at the very least I just want people to know what to expect. Losing a loved one takes a toll on our lives, especially someone close for instance; parents, children, siblings, grandparents, etc. We cannot continue to give people false hope that everything will be ok immediately, when in reality, the process of grief takes time.

Staff Writer; Sha’Nelle V. Harris

One may also connect with this sister via Facebook; S. Harris.

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