Monday, July 15, 2024

Know What You Like.

August 31, 2018 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Sex can be a very tense situation when you find yourself wanting after every encounter. It can be very difficult to open up to your partner about what turns you both off and on. Far too often many of us, men and women, engage a partner sexually based on our experience. If that experience didn’t teach us that every partner is different we can find ourselves rather disappointed. We want our man to feel like he is the best in the bed so when things aren’t going that well you may feel like a horrible person if you say something.

When you have taken the time to really get in tune with self you know what you need to climax, and sexually bond with someone. Knowing this about yourself makes you want to learn more about your partner. Sometimes it takes knowing what you like and speaking on it openly for the pleasure to commence.

Though sex isn’t everything it is a component of intimacy, and far too often we leave a man to his experiences when it comes to what we like. Just as we are open about other aspects of a relationship it is very necessary to talk about what you like during sex, and what makes you cringe. When we are not vocal in this area we set our partner up for failure and we could walk into triggers that summon past pain.

Sisters have dealt with certain kinds of trauma may find that they can’t handle being touched in certain ways. It doesn’t have to be something out of the norm or offensive…just uncomfortable for them. If your partner is unaware he won’t know why you would push him away in that moment. This is can also be a traumatizing moment for you as he was trying to please you and caused you pain.

Furthermore, being unfulfilled sexually can cause different kinds of problems in your relationship. It can lead to you feeling resentment towards your partner. You know what you need, and want, but ladies men are not mind readers. He has to know what causes your body to respond to him, and this makes you more of an individual. Opening up about what you need can cause your relationship to go to another level as both parties are no focused more on the intimate details of each other.  It opens up a space where your partner can learn to actually be in tune with your body on a level that brings you closer to him. Though many of you might feel that a man would not want you to tell him what we want you just might be surprised. Too much focus has been put on the idea that men want weak women that just accept whatever is given to them.

Men want to feel dominate in the area of sex, so they would not welcome your perspective some sisters would say. You need to know that isn’t the case with a lot of men. Brothers want to know they are able t please you, and many of them pride themselves in that ability. They would welcome you engaging with them on what you like, and many of them are not control freaks. To some having a woman that is assertive and confident in what she wants is a turn on. Don’t believe the all men think hype.

You know what you like and need from your partner. Talk to him and make it a bonding space for you as a couple. You will find that being honest will avoid triggers, create oneness, and it could add the spice you’ve been missing.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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