(ThySistas.com) It is truly a gift to have a selfless compassion that puts the needs of your sisters above your own. Rarely do we find a sister friend that answers our call regardless of her state. Being the sister friend that is leaned on by many is not easy. You are expected to have answers, to care, to gauge the mood of the sister you are helping and advise her without harsh correction. However, if you discover that said sister friend (s) exhibit narcissistic behavior…run. You owe them nothing because in most cases you have gone above and beyond, and it’s never enough.
Relationships require reciprocity. Granted certain seasons are harder than others so we may find ourselves leaning on our strongest support incapable of pouring into them equally. This is understandable; however, it cannot be one the standard. Pouring into each other has nothing to do with money, and everything to do
with the energy we are willing to impart. Understanding that giving positivity consistently is not supposed to be a one-way street will help you to see the narcissist friend in your life.
No one, especially those you sacrifice for, have the right to make you feel insignificant. When you love well you deserve to be loved. It’s important that you realize a narcissist is selfish, and self serving. Some of our sisters battle with this not knowing that narcissism is destroying the support system that keeps them standing. Regardless of knowledge, it is important to understand your boundaries. A narcissist friend takes until there is no more left.
When you confront them about treatment they do not see the value in your feelings. You will be made to feel you must do more to receive the care a friend should give. Some equate love to buying you items, but no amount of money can heal the emotional abuse they inflict. Taking a stand for yourself is not you being a disloyal friend. Removing toxic relationships is an act of self care.
Remember you owe no one anything but to be fair, honest, and love well. Know your boundaries, and demand that they be respected you don’t owe a friend your peace nor happiness. If they are truly a friend these things would never be demanded of you. Its important that you are honest with yourself about what you pour into the life of others, and your value. If you neglect to do so they will always be able to make you feel as do you don’t contribute enough to their life. In that space you can lose your sanity and, in some instances, the very essence of who you are. This is not healthy, and if your friend is a narcissist you will be demanded to relinquish control of your peace. That is not acceptable.
It is important that you are in control of what you will, or will not, allow. No one can take that away from you in truth regardless of what you feel. It is understandable to feel apprehension about having to confront a friend you love about their wrong treatment towards you, however that is the only way they will learn you are not a door mat to be stepped on. Take a stance for your own well being by removing what steals your energy. There is nothing wrong with choosing you so do so, because you owe selfish friends nothing.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.