Thursday, June 20, 2024

Everyone Isn’t A Hater! Sometimes it’s Love.

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( When we get into it with our family member, man, coworker, another female…whomever we want someone to be just as angry about it as we are. We want that person that will rant with us, and we see them as our true ride or die friend. That’s very much so understandable, but a real friend won’t rant with you if you are wrong.

Some of us have a woman in our life that is like another mom to us or a spiritual mom even. This woman tends to help us grow in our womanhood, and even help us work through pain and hardships. This person comes to us in many different ways church, sorority, work, etc. We love the care they bring to our world. These woman can make is feel alive, and help us see our purpose and worth. So many time their words have been a healing balm to our heart, and sometimes they show us more love that the woman that birthed us. Yet, when we behave outside of what our character should be her words can be chastising regardless of how kind she words it…or not. If she loves us she will tell us the truth no matter what.

A person could admire us in silence, or just don’t want to see a sister fail. So, they speak on a matter that really doesn’t involve them…and they speak truth. If we don’t like what they are saying we label them a “haterblackwomen-talking-2016and keep moving. Unfortunately, since they were speaking truth we did run into that brick wall, and of course we will find another reason that we didn’t see it, and somehow we have a case of amnesia forgetting the “hater” that warned us.

All three of these scenarios are situations by which a sister allows her emotions, and sometimes ego, to govern how she will interact with others…primarily those that would say Sister this is not the way. Yes, it’s natural to want someone to see us in all of your glory and acknowledge that. However we must remember there are two kinds of people that would tell us the truth: one that does it to pump us up and lead us to ruin, and one that tells us because they love us and don’t want to see us come to ruin. I admit often times the latter may be hardest to hear, but it’s best for us.

That friend that’s been with us from day one, and the sister that invested in seeing you elevate to the point she has taken up a parental space in your life LOVE YOU! They love you enough to risk you accusing them of being: a hater, of tripping, of pissing you off…of not caring. They would rather loose you then watch you loose yourself. Being caught in our emotions, and our feelings causes us to be blind to those that are really standing with us.

We would rather listen to the person that would say: girl you right, no one understands, that’s on them but I got your back, it’s not that important, or yea he ain’t worth shyt. These sorts of people may tell a version of the truth but it’s one to destroy you. A line from William Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” said it best: “ And oftentimes, to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths. Win us to honest trifles, to betray in deepest consequence.”

Everyone has a motive, but the motive of those that love you is to see you well. It hurts them to see you hurting or suffering. Others may have a motive of getting what they can from you while you have it, or to actually see you come to ruin. It’s not wise to let your emotions cause you to walk away from people that are genuinely in your corner. Let’s not confuse the truth from those that love us, and care, with being hated on. That mistake could cost more than we could ever imagine.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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