Friday, September 17, 2021

Reciprocal Expectations in Relationships.

February 27, 2015 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Everyone dreams of being in a relationship that gives them everything they ever imagined. We want the perfect mate with the perfect, body, money, hair, car you name it. While “perfection” is defined differently from person to person, we can all agree that there are expectations we have of our significant other and for many, those things are nonnegotiable.

Having relationships goals is a must. In fact, a person who does not have a set of “rules” or guidelines by which they determine how they choose their partner, usually ends up in situations that are both hurtful and unnecessary.

Speaking from experience, I know what it means to go your whole life believing that the man you will spend the rest of your days with has to meet every single expectation to a T. I also know what it means to find a man that turns what I wanted key upside down and showed me what I needed.Woman with hands on boyfriend's shoulders

With that, I want to talk to the ladies for a minute (even though what I am saying can apply to both sexes). The reason being is I believe we are the most prone to setting expectations for the man who is to sweep us off of our feet, but are not willing or aware that we have to reciprocate those expectations.

Women today are more advance probably than ever before. We are educated, we have great jobs, we own houses and cars and truth be told, we have it going on. We believe that we can have it all because…. We can. But in all of our getting, we must get an understanding of how relationships really work.

I can say this because I have seen other women do it and I have done it. I have listed out all these things I want out of a man without realizing that I have to be willing to a) giving 100% of what I’m expecting from him and b) meet the expectations he has. Women are not the only ones who have goals and a view of our lives should go.

People who are not willing to reciprocate their own expectations are selfish and unreasonable. It is unreasonable to want someone to wait on you hand and foot but then complain about doing the same. It is unreasonable to demand for your mate to look a certain way but you are not putting in the work to keep yourself up.

Relationships work when two people not only voice their expectations, but meet each other’s. To have it any other way will breed resentment and an unrealistic view of reality.

Staff Writer; Rasheda Abdullah

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