Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Dating & Celibacy: The Art of Keeping Your Legs & Your Mouth Closed.

February 24, 2015 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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( There are numerous reasons women decide to move onto the celibacy track. For many its solely a religious decisions while others do so after learning about the metaphysics of sex and others will come aboard out of hurt, shame and guilt. Whatever the reason, you’re on board and you do NOT have to explain your decision to follow through to anyone. Nor do you have to believe that men won’t wait until marriage. It’s not about “men”! It’s about that one who is most spiritually, emotionally and mentally aligned with you. It’s just that plain and simple

Unfortunately many celibate women don’t know how to play the dating game long enough for that ‘one’ to realize who she is. Many celibate women spill their guts way too early and run men off. Few people desire to break thru your emotional and physical barriers, especially when you are coming off difficult, confused and frustrated.

The question we’re exploring is: How do we hold a man’s attention long enough for him to see something special, something unique within us?

1. Don’t Bring Up Your Sexual Status – What exactly is the purpose of mentioning your celibacy journey? Bringing up sex when you’re not having it is as nutty as telling someone in need that you have a million bucks on chill in your bank account and then explaining all the reasons they’re not getting any. It leaves the person dazzled and wondering why you brought it up to begin with. Don’t be a tease girl! He doesn’t know you well enough to see any reason to invest his time, money or energy into you. How dare you tell that man you’re not going to have sex with him in the dating phase? Shouldn’t that go without saying? Your essence should stateCouple chatting on benchthis is I’m not a fly by night woman“. Your presence should let others know that you’re valuable! Besides he might be the one that’s going to get all your goodies, he just might be your husband.

2. Avoid Private Intimate/Romantic Settings – That’s not to say you shouldn’t or can’t do a stroll in the park on a cool summer night or that you can’t have a candlelight dinner. It does mean that late night visits, those after 10, are unnecessary and often downright misleading. It’s something about the clock approaching midnight that makes most men feel they’re reaching a deadline. Don’t put him or you in that situation! Strive to have an air of mystery, something that makes him want to invest more time in getting to know ALL about you. And if you’re out on the town, leave before the stroke of midnight! But please make it home with both shoes on.

3. Allow Him The Opportunity To Get To Know YOU – You are not your ex lovers, you are not your past hurts, you are not the drama that has surrounded you in the past, you are not your celibacy. Bring you to the table, share just enough about you to create a connection and also get to know him in the process. Share your dreams, tell him all the positive and funny highlights of your week. Come from the heart when you’re speaking, sharing those things that excite you and that you’re most passionate about. If you’re an artist, share some of your work with him. Show that you are one of a kind: unique!

4. Know Your Rules of Engagement – Are you celibate OR practicing abstinence because you’re single? A lot of women confuse the two! Know what you are doing and why. Are you waiting until you get married? If so, be clear on what marriage means to you as well as what you are willing to do to make a marriage work. Getting married isn’t the difficult part, staying married is. In the process of your celibacy make sure you are constantly working to improve yourself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You have to love you enough to allow another to love you.

5. Enjoy The Dating Game – So many celibate women abstain from dating because “men only want sex“. If that’s your mental process my dear you should commit to being a nun. Release the desire and opportunity to indulge in sex as a whole! Dating keeps you fresh, it keeps you actively learning about yourself and it helps you to be clear about what you desire in a potential partner. Unless you are open to the possibly of an arranged marriage, dating is a MUST.

Staff Writer; Dina Tuff

Connect with Mystic Philosopher & Inner Fitness Coach Dina Tuff @

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One Response to “Dating & Celibacy: The Art of Keeping Your Legs & Your Mouth Closed.”
  1. Nicole says:

    As a celibate lady who has decided to wait until marriage before re-engaging in sexual intercourse finding like-minded individuals can be difficult. Thank you so much for this well written, thought provoking & reassuring article.
    Your advice & tips on dating while celibate are quite practical & can easily be incorporated into my life. Thanks again for respectfully exploring a topic so close to my heart.

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