lifetsyle You Are Not the Father! :

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

You Are Not the Father!

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( No you are not hearing the famous line that’s familiar to fans of the Maury Povic Show. This is regarding something that’s heard time and time again, especially within the black community. “I’m the mama and the daddy.”

Now what I’m about to say may upset some women out there once I’m done. But it won’t be the first time. First of all you are not your child’s father if you gave birth to him. You are his mother.

I won’t throw out the disheartening statistics that constantly bombard us and the many reasons as to why black fathers are absent. I’m sure that you’ve heard them all. I will only give my case of why fathers are desperately needed in their children’s

Now please don’t get me wrong. I understand that many women are forced to take on the roles of both parents when the father is absent. We may carry the full load of feeding and clothing our children. We may have to kiss boos boos and toughen them up moments later.

A father’s absence may be unintentional due to circumstances out of his control. His absence may purely be his choice due to cowardness. Or the mother maybe using the child as a pawn and preventing a relationship between the father and child.

I know if the father is not around, you as the mother are forced to deal with issues that our young, black boys must face. I commend the mothers that are doing their best. But, when it’s all said and done children need a male figure, especially our boys and young men.

YES women can raise strong black men! YES women can raise responsible black man because we see it all the time. YES our young, black men raised by single black women can develop into good fathers even with the absence of their father.

Not all black men raised by single mothers are gay. Not all black men raised by single mothers are high school dropouts and felons.

But with all of that being said we must admit that having help from dads that are responsible and willing to step up to the plate makes things a little easier.

Yes I know. I can hear it now. Just because the father is in the home it does not mean he’s a good influence. I agree with that. If the father is violent and lazy, with a host of other negative characteristics then yes that’s a problem. But if he wants to be a part of his child’s life then let him do so.

There comes a time when our young boys will need guidance from a man. There will come a time when he definitely will need guidance from a man much like himself, a black man. Even our daughters need the love of their fathers, so that they may not search in the wrong places for a supplement.

I say this to say that there are some things that we as women will never understand simply because we are women. There will come a time when only a black man will truly understand what your black son is experiencing. A man can’t tell a young woman how it feels to give birth. And sadly enough there are some realities that only a black man can share with your black son, simply because of who he is.

So in the end I just want to say that balance is needed. Not only do our daughters need male and female figures in their lives the same goes for our black males.

Staff Writer; Eleanie Campbell

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