Thursday, April 27, 2017


Level Up: Taking The Next Step In Your Relationship.

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(ThySistas.com) When you meet someone entirely new, it feels like the world goes into HD mode. Your mood is uplifted, so colours look brighter, food tastes better and you walk around with a spring in your step. First kisses, first dates, first weekends away: it’s exciting! There’s no other word that fits. It’s part of that new and magical period where you are being swept off your feet to dinner, the movies and if you’re really lucky – the theatre. Long conversations about life gives you a chance to get to know each other at a deeper level than other people in your lives and it’s a time of discovery. Discovering your likes and dislikes, discovering new places together and discussing thoughts and feelings together. Of course, this period doesn’t have to be intensive in the same way a therapy appointment is, but it’s the excitement of getting to know each other that keeps you interested.

That, and a smouldering smile!

There’s no hard and fast rules when it comes to relationships and sex, and moving your relationship forward happens when you are both ready and comfortable enough to be more to each other than companions. The obvious advice here is to wait a few weeks or months so you can feel secure and comfortable that sex isn’t the basis of your new relationship. You want to have something after the fact and if you jump into bed on the first date, it’s likely the interest you have in each other is purely physical, which can dampen the brighter colours and better tasting food, turning it all sour. Sex brings a range of emotions that you don’t have in the before.

Afterward, if you aren’t secure enough you could question their feelings for you, you question your worth and the insecurity will ultimately kill the fun and romance. The trouble with sex? It complicates things and moving into that phase of your relationship can be quite confusing. You want to keep the magic alive and at the same time, be closer to the new person in your life and when you have to think about adding in the physical to the emotional, things can get mixed up. It’s for this reason, you have to be truly ready to go ahead, so you can have it be an experience to repeat and not one to regret.

You’re not truly ‘in a relationship’ until you’ve gotten out of bed on the other side (so to speak) and still want to enjoy long conversations together and movie nights out. Sex can connect you on another level and new, early relationship sex is again, a time of discovering each other. Being so vulnerable with another person is the ultimate level of trust and when you are with that person, you need to be safe! As time goes on, you both may choose to commit to each other long term, so that conversation about ditching condoms and order the contraceptive pill online won’t be too far away. Be smart with your health so if you both have had previous partners, don’t rule out an STI test before making that decision. Your relationship can flourish if you both go into it with your eyes wide open, knowing what to expect from each other. When you take that next step, you are levelling up your relationship and looking ahead to the future and the exciting things that are possible.

Respect is so important when you are blossoming a new love so make time to listen, understand and soothe any worries. You have to nurture what you have and help it to bloom without trampling all over one another and your ideas. Talking is going to get you where you want your relationship to be: whether that’s a few months of great conversation and great sex, or a lifetime of it. The early days are the days that lay the foundation, so move slowly and carefully to avoid any cracks. Bringing your relationship to the next level is a big deal, especially if you have been out of the dating game for some time. You should make a point of keeping the lines of communication open and continuing on without game playing – no one likes a player and if you’re together, you’ve already won.

Take your time to dip a toe into that new arena before you make the plunge, you don’t have to rush and neither does your new love.

Staff Writer; Carla Jacobs


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