Being A Mom is Work.
(ThySistas.com) Being a mother is one of most rewarding journeys many of us embark upon. There is joy, beauty, love and adventure. If only if were just those things. Being a mother is a lifetime career, and on some days it’s just plain hard work. We learn and grow as our children grow. Though there is much to teach them in this life…their resilience and innocence will teach us quite a bit. Getting our precious little ones from one phase of life to the next will always require acceptance, patience, assistance, strength, a stern hand at times, and reality checks. Many of us had ideas on what this path would be like, and thought we knew some things but the reality of being a mother doesn’t set in until you look into the eyes of your baby for the first time. The task ahead taps us on the shoulder the first time they hurt themselves, or require discipline. In all of this is the countless smiles, hugs, new discoveries and the truth that we love them more than life. There are a few things that can help us navigate motherhood, and keep our sanity.
We will experience different emotions with our kids at different times, and it would help us to acknowledge those emotions so that we can manage them properly. Yes, our little angels will do things that will anger us to no ends. A screaming 3 year old, or a 15 yr old that wants to talk back will make you angry. In that moment you don’t lack love, but you might lack like…it’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up for doing what is necessary for your child as a parent. You are mom…not their friend. Sometimes after we discipline our children properly we have the silent urge to feel guilty…some of us have even cried after the fact. It’s okay mom; you don’t have to feel guilty just know that teaching and discipline is a part of the process. When they are older you will be very glad you raised productive respectful people.
There is a need in us to do everything ourselves. The truth is NO ONE raises a child alone. If dad is available…let him help. Dad is a parent just as you are, and if he is to bond properly and have an impact in the childs life we must let him be a dad. They don’t do things the same way we would, but that doesn’t make their way wrong…nor does that make them incompetent. When dad and mom work together there is balance on all fronts. This also helps mom feel less overwhelmed. If this is not the case and there are others you trust that offer assistance…accept it. Needing help doesn’t make you weak. It is wise to know when you need help, and seek it verses having a complete meltdown that affects you and your child. Regardless of what anyone says…no one does this alone, and they shouldn’t.
There is a great sense of self-worth that comes from knowing that you are there for your babies, and you help them get through whatever may come their way. When it is time for them to enter the world, say school, without us the separation anxiety is real…for us. I can admit the first day my son went to his new school…I was the one in tears and concerned about how he was all day long. I had to adjust realizing he is a resilient little boy. Our children are stronger than we realize. Their independence, though it may not feel good for us at first, is a sign that they are growing and healthy. We should welcome this phase in their life.
Mothering can become difficult when we expect our children to be without fault. Come on ladies we aren’t perfect, and neither are our children. They will make mistakes; understanding this with an open mind will relieve quite a bit of stress. Yes, we will always be concerned for them, but showing them that we have confidence in them will help harness their confidence in self. When they know they can come to us with mistakes and their feelings without meeting the brick wall of judgement we strengthen our relationship with them.
Lastly, although we wish we could…we can’t raise children in a bubble. We should shelter them from harm as much as we can while still being honest with them about life. It is not safe to allow our children to be naive and raised by society. There are certain conversations that should be had with us before the public gives its opinion like its fact. When you ask…the moment they come to us with a matter it’s time to sit them down. We can’t protect them from everything, but we can prepare them as best we can.
Being a mom is rewarding, and its work. Remember, being a parent is rewarding, and its work. Let’s work together to raise a strong nation of children that are loved, confident and have a strong moral conscious. We will always be mom, and will always be willing to sacrifice for our precious angels. We just don’t have to do it alone.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr