Monday, December 11, 2017


Conscious Uncoupling: What On Earth Is It And Does The Paltrow Way Work?

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(ThySistas.comIn 2014 Gwyneth Paltrow famously announced on Goop that she and Chris Martin were ‘consciously uncoupling’. Heads were scratched, minds flummoxed, and we weren’t sure if they were breaking up or adopting some weird new yoga pose. It turns out that yes, they were in fact separating. But in a very new age way. Let’s take a look at conscious uncoupling and see if Paltrow actually nailed divorce the right way.

What Does The Phrase Mean?

Consciously uncoupling is at its essence another way of saying you are separating. But it takes the view that you have chosen very amicably to end the romantic side of your relationship in a whole and complete way. It is an approach where you work together to find peace and stability as a new family unit.  We often hear the word black-couple-smiling-2017divorce and straight away we think of pain, anger, resentment. We have been programmed to believe that divorce is messy, and we will be at loggerheads. However, the decision to consciously uncouple means you have talked things through to the very end, and come to the best conclusion together. It is very similar to going through divorce mediation, in the sense that you want the results to be amicable, peaceful and adult.

Who Invented It?

US psychotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas is the lady behind the phrase. She talks about how growing up in Niagara Falls that no-fault divorce wasn’t an option. One party always had to be blamed for doing something that led to divorce. Conscious uncoupling turns this idea on its head. It’s about talking things through and negotiating a new way of thinking. It focuses on showing respect and gratitude for what your relationship brought you both. It sounds like a much more sensible way to divorce. And sadly, yes, some couples do just grow apart. For the sake of the heart, for new love and the children, in those instances, it may be best to part ways romantically. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t create a different type of family unit altogether.

Romance To Friendship

And that is exactly what Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have done. There has been no bitter custody battles, no blazing rows and no blame. They often still go on exotic holidays together with their children. And also out for dinners. And Gwyneth even turned up at Glastonbury last year to support her ex in his band Coldplay. While it may sound seamless on paper, proceeding in this way takes effort and understanding. Emotions are all over the place and up in the air when couples decide to divorce. So choosing to turn your romance into a friendship will take time, patience and consideration. If you have children, it is one of the best things you can do for them. Uncoupling in a loving way will create more stability ad trust in their lives and hopefully lead both you and your spouse to a better place too. Friends and family often feel they have to ‘take sides’ in a divorce. But showing the world that you have both decided to become close friends instead, eliminates that tension and animosity. And if you can keep a happy extended family together, isn’t it worth the effort?     

Staff Writer; Latasha Park


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