Where are the Men?
August 30, 2016 by ThySista
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns
(ThySistas.com) “The Shattering Blows on the Negro Family have made it fragile, deprived and often psychopathic”- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Social Structure of Men and Women
The overall social structure of men typically stands on the platform of patriarchy. It has been an established system for men to be the head of the household as the husband and/or father to the family. The meaning of patriarchy literally means the “ruling father”. In terms of women the social structure can and will include matriarchy at the exclusion of men. Some of these structures are set up on historical motives. There is sometimes a negative connotation attached to the word patriarchy. It can be viewed as a controlling and misogynist entity.
Gender roles, economics even politics become factors in social 
structure. All of these factors also affect child rearing and family planning. Women are in a more powerful position. However even public policy tries to regulate how that is handled. Women in a sense have rebelled in family planning roles. Understandably so because it’s their body and decision to do what’s best. But when a man is involved in the reproductive process, they need to be considered as well. Though consequences of choices can be potentially detrimental to the children involved, it’s best to consider all possible outcomes.
The Deconstruction of the Black Family
Today with the strong presence of independent women along with the strong feminist movement; who needs a man for anything nowadays? Even in family planning? This idea goes back to historical evidence for the black family. Woman had to witness their men, the head of household, protector, provider, father etc. be violently removed from that spot by slave owners. Naturally that causes a power struggle. The woman now becomes her own protector, provider and even though she understands why this happened; the natural survival tactic causes subconscious resentment.
Family Planning without HIM
There are many black single mothers that did not intend to be single mothers. But with new technology and societal standards the choice can be solely up to the woman whether she wants children. However some things need to be considered when it comes to planning a family without a man;
1) Understand how it will affect the children in the long-term,
2) Examples and teachings of positive family structures. All this is not to say single woman cannot provide the best examples for their children. I am a product of a single mother with two younger brothers where neither of them knew their father. As adult males today, having a father figure to refer to would have alleviated some bumps of life that only a man can speak on.
As an adult female not having a father figure has affected me negatively in regards to esteem, expectations and even personal relationships. Some men are not responsible enough to be included or need to be included in family planning. A woman can only teach and guide her children so much. Still the presence of a male and including him in the family planning process will be in the best interest of the children.
Staff Writer; Amber Ogden
One may also view more of her work over at; AmberOgden.com.
Also connect via Instagram; 1amberogden and Twitter; MsAmberOgden.
