(ThySistas.com) The feeling of value and validation is needed in every circle one decides to be a part or remain connected to for any period of time. Part of what makes the connection sound is trust, respect, and a value for one’s position. You aren’t saying the earth must stand still when you speak, however you should feel as though what you are contributing to the community is respected. Who wants to stay in a place whereby they are silenced? Who would feel loved in an environment whereby your experienced are not valued? No one wants to be the silenced person…the one who wants to contribute to a matter but are shunned as though they are incompetent in their thoughts. If we don’t want to be that person, it’s important not to give that energy to those we claim to love and respect. If you look around, you there might be members of your village that deal with disrespect on a regular basis. Should you find this to be the case and find that you participate in it it’s important to change.
Everyday we are losing more of our family, and children, to gangs, outside influence, violence, suicide, and sometimes…they just leave. They are looking for a place of value where they can express themselves and be heard. We aren’t talking about being loud for attention, disrespectful to others, or wanting the village to accept terrible behavior towards others and tantrums. No, we are talking about simple value is one’s voice. That value can be diminished because someone doesn’t speak well, have mad some bad choices, don’t have as much education, are not financially stable, see spiritual matters different than the majority, or because they are disabled. No of the above mentioned are reasons to disrespect the mind of a member of your community. We never know when that person will give the word of wisdom, perspective, love or kindness that can be exactly what is needed.
If you find that you partake in the shutting down of others it’s time to make self accountable for that behavior and actively seek to change. It begins with identifying the problem and taking a hard introspective look at self. Ask yourself why it is you don’t respect their mind…their voice in your village. Take a moment to remind yourself of why they are apart of your village, and that they matter. The wholeness of that person matters to you and your family. Don’t allow their setbacks or the challenges they face to diminish who they are as a person. As someone who lives with disability it’s always been amazing to me that sometimes family and loved ones will treat you like your mind don’t work, and your feelings can’t be conveyed because physically you are disabled or deal with illness. Physical illness doesn’t always mean your loved one is mentally ill or incompetent.
If your quest to protect them because you deem them as weak, you can hurt them deeply. These very same people in your life know a thing or two about fighting for life, persevering, and also being shunned in the world. The last place they want an uphill battle is within their family and village. Just as you want your mind, testimony, experience, intelligent…your person respected, please give the same to others in your village. They deserve to be heard and understood just as you do. Again, this is not about giving toxic a place, but more so those in your family/village, that are overshadowed and quieted by no fault of their own. Remember them and allow them to stand in their truth, and function as an active member of the village they love.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.