Friday, December 8, 2023

Letting Go Isn’t Impossible.

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( Ugh! Hangnails: that small, almost minute piece of skin that does not know how to take a clue.  It just does not understand to leave just like the 40,000 of skin cells that you shed on a daily basis. It takes you finding a nail clipper to finally release the hangnail of its duties as a part of your ever so important fingers.  If only getting rid of relationships were so easy.

When you choose to invest in someone, it is like spending emotional money.  You do not want to lose such an expensive investment. So, when it happens, you want compensation for what you lose and by any means necessary.  This is usually when anger, selfishness, and a possible bonfire in the front yard may happen to make you feel better about what is no longer yours.

black woman thinking

I am not here to tell you that it is as easy as just saying “I’m done”.  For some of us, it is not.  Do not feel ashamed of the fact that you may hold on longer than most. There may be environmental reasons why you do so, and learned behaviors are difficult to change without consistent focus on changing the behaviors.  However, it is possible if you truly want to do so.  Here are some ways or steps to do so.

1. Deal with it. I stole this from a post Kyla Pratt made on Instagram that had “Let that “stuff” go” crossed out and instead said to “Be…Deal…Heal from…And then, when you’re ready, let that “stuff” go.” She was right. Some of us cannot let go of things some easily, but we can learn to live without. Instead of thinking of it as a complete “cut off” situation, think about it like those in Alcoholic Anonymous do.  It is a gradual process that requires consistent attention.  Notice I did not say “all” your attention. I said “consistent”. That means you dedicate time to dealing with yourself and the situation on a constant basis until you can eventually learn to live without the pain. Then, you will be able to let that “stuff” go.

2. Let go and not just replace. Sometimes, we tend to replace one bad habit with another habit that does not appear to be as harmful or threatening. Then, you come to find out that habit was just as bad as the original. When you are letting go of something, take the time to legitimately learn how to live without it. IF you choose to replace it, make sure it is something that is beneficial and healthy for your wellbeing. One of my biggest weaknesses is silence. I will run away from silence like I’m in a 100-meter dash in the Olympics.  Since I was a child, I have replaced silence with so many extracurricular activities to the point where my body passed out due to exhaustion.  To this day, I am learning how to embrace silence in order to deal with a lot of the trauma I have from my past. It is not easy, but I am awake to tell you that it is not impossible.

Learning new habits usually takes 21 days with consistent dedication to implementing the habit into your daily life.  Will letting go take as long? Maybe. It depends on how you want to work on letting go and allowing yourself the right to heal and move one.  Letting go may look impossible, but it is not if you choose to invest in yourself and your future.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.


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