Friday, December 8, 2023

If Only There Was a Time Machine.

January 7, 2021 by  
Filed under Health & Wellness, News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( As a young woman, like any other, I would proudly and readily say that I lived my life with no regrets whatsoever. I would say that this person, that thing, this event, or that institution didn’t owe me a thing when I moved on. To a large degree, they don’t because they stopped me with more than enough memories to keep me laughing and crying for years to come. On the other hand, those life events create feelings that are undeniable and at times, aren’t always good. Regret can begin to appear when looking back on some events and it can create a sadness that runs deeper than any well we can dig.

Regret is the one emotion that no human ever wants to experience because of the grief that usually comes after we reminisce. I am notorious for this emotion as there is usually something that I would have done differently in a certain situation to produce a better or more favorable outcome. These insights generally do not hit until hindsight kicks in and as we know it is 20/20, no matter what.  We find ourselves analyzing not only ourselves but for all the factors that led to the outcome.

black woman NO REGRET

We make ourselves look and act crazy and seem stuck about what happened. To say this is not a healthy habit is the biggest understatement of the year. It can lead to a road of self-pity and personal anguish that make us not want to commit to anything. We spend our time focusing on the bad that we have been afflicted with or inflicted on others.

A recurring statement that we always seem to make when we get stuck in this rut is, “If I had a time machine,” or “If I knew then what I know now”. We always want to go backward instead of forwards to renew or fix something we should have either done earlier or let go. Much of this feeling stems from repeated procrastination that had led to the situation being irretrievably broken. One cannot dwell on these emotions as they serve no purpose and are only there to make us feel worse. A time machine nor any amount of wishing will make a situation better. What happened at that moment was meant to happen and there is no way of changing the action you took. You took decisive action and made the move you felt was best for you.

There is no time to feel sorry for said decision. We must put on our big girl underwear and deal with the ramifications and consequences that come with it. If this means that someone is cut from our circle, then that is ok. Pruning our bushes never hurt anything and only stands to make them grow more beautifully. If it is an object that has us fraught with regret, then getting rid of it may not be such a bad idea. If it is a certain establishment or institution (a.k.a. job) and you feel a slight bit of regret for leaving, don’t because you walking away might have been the grace you needed to start anew somewhere else. With time, you learn that some regrets aren’t really regrets at all. They are unanswered prayers that you whispered in your tears and someone heard you.

Staff Writer; Jessieca Carr

One may connect with this sister online over at Instagramsusiecarmichael1920 and Twitternoladarling1920.

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