Monday, July 22, 2024

Some Friends Don’t Mix.

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( Kool-Aid: a simple mixture of water, flavoring, and sugar create a tasty drink that quenches your thirst.  No matter the flavor or color you choose to mix, you are going to have something to drink that most people can enjoy. Friendships are not as mixable.  Each of us have people who we choose to have in our lives for special reasons.  While you probably believe that everyone should get along, they probably will not and that is not your fault.

One reason people who are close to you may not get along is simply because of their personalities.  Yes, you have a connection with them, and that connection is unmatched. However, they may not feel the same toward your other friends because that is their personality.  It does not mean that your friends are mean. It just means that the connection you two have is simply for you and that person. I have friends that are like night and day.  If I put them in the same room, the only person they would talk to would be me.  As tiring as it can be, I understand it because of their personalities.  One person is optimistic and happy 96% of the day.  The other is very nonchalant and laid back.  If she does not have to move, she will not.  Their connections to me are amazing, but they cannot be around each other for longer than 8 minutes. Personalities are not the only reason friends do not always mesh.

black women talking

Another reason why friends do not mix is because of the situation surrounding your relationship with them.  Maybe you all are friends because of work, the organization you all are in, or because of where you met.  That situation is unique to you and that person, and others will probably not understand references or ideas you all discuss.  For example, I am a member of a Black Greek Organization.  I have friends that are also members of organizations, but I also have friends that are not.  When we discuss some of our experiences in the organization, my non-Greek friends usually have no clue what we are talking about. I love both sides regardless, and I respect both sides for their presence in my life.

One final reason all of your friends probably cannot be together is because of you.  Yes, YOU.  The description or situations you have explained to another person may color the way they look at that person.  Then, when you expect them to hang around each other, they remember your description of them.  That description makes it difficult to find a connection with your friends.  When I was younger, I made the mistake of venting to one friend about another.  When those people were in the same room, they gave each other evil eyes the entire night!  I wondered why they were so mad until I realized that it was my fault.  I never took the time to express what made each person valuable to my life. Instead, I spewed vomit about each of them to each other.

I would love to believe we live in a world where everyone can get along with everyone just because.  However, that is not realistic. We all have different personalities and traits that make us unique.  So, we are not for everyone.  Celebrate the differences that exist between your relationships and treasure how they help you to be a better person for yourself and others.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.

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