(ThySistas.com) Love is such a strong emotion. It has the power to bring us to a place of joy and peace. We can experience a sense of fulfillment and balance that can’t be found in any other range of emotion. With that being acknowledged, when love becomes perverted and abusive it can send one to a place of extreme darkness. Love that becomes a burden drains the spirit in a way that makes it hard to function and make it through a moment let alone a day. It can be argued that maybe there should be a hierarchy to how we love.
When our love for family or the significant other, is greater than the love of self there can be a severe consequence. There is a great focus these days on the important of self-love. This is positive, and something we as women have to find a way to implement in our daily regimen. The love of self must be the greatest love you cultivate. It is the one love that will keep you when you have to question other spaces where love is supposed to reside.
We often move in circles that tell us the definition of love is the sacrifice of self. It leads us to believe if we don’t place everything above self we are not loving authentically. The truth is, if we are being forced to abandon care for your self that is a red flag. You are not a vessel that must continually pour without being filled. That doesn’t make sense. Love does not mean withstanding toxic relationships in the name of love while you suffer in silence. That is not love. It is time for us to unlearn these damaging habits so that we can see ourselves clearly. Toxic and drama filled situations can cause you to look in the mirror and see someone that is not you. You with healthy love in your life causes you to glow from the inside out. Where there was once a woman that was tired, worn out, full of self-doubt, insecurity, and sorrow she will be replaced with everything that is the polar opposite.
One of the hardest parts of self-care is walking away from relationships that abuse your heart and make love a burden. You might be thinking you can love someone into understanding, appreciation, and care. Sistah that is not possible. Every person has to make a choice about how they are going to move where love is concerned regardless of what has been endured. You can not bear the burden of someone else’s healing in the name of love. Doing so can cause you to deal in a false sense of love that will make accepting real love difficult.
During this time, we’ve spent quarantined many of us have had to come to terms with the truth that we are not loving self well. Many of us are seeing all the cracks in some relationships while the ground has completely fallen out of others. It is okay to mourn the loss of these relationships, but you must love yourself more than the pain you initially feel. For your peace, health and ability to move forward in a progressive space it is important for self-love to be your strongest love. All of those dear to you will benefit from you taking care of yourself.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.