(ThySistas.com) My state has re-opened. My city is starting to move again. That movement is slow, and it is slower than the rest of Louisiana, but it is happening. As people begin to exit the lockdown is seems many have decided Covid-19 wasn’t that real, or it is no longer a threat. When I step outside on the porch there doesn’t seem to be enough masks covering faces, and people are simply too close to each other. I thought we are supposed to still be social distancing. Social distance seems like an over cooked concept that some have decided needs to be put out with the leftovers that have gone bad.
As this re-opening happens, I feel the urge to further retreat into the shadows. What should we believe? As the economy starts awakening should that mean one should disregard the facts of what has been seen? We watched the world as we know it come to a halt. We watched a body count grow every day. We watch the temperature on the matter change as a color was attached to a disproportionate majority of people dying.
I have decided I can’t unsee, or un-feel, what I have experienced of the last few months. People that I love died alone. No one was able to comfort them in their final moments. No one was able to pay their respects in a homegoing service, and there was definitely no second lining involved. The family and loves ones of those that passed were not able to comfort each other. Yes, I know we can call, text, or meet on zoom…but that discounts the power of a hug and a real shoulder to cry on. All we could go physically is grieve alone. Even with this and an understanding of the need to get out into creation…I decided I’ll stay home.
I don’t believe the worst is over. Unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of optimism as someone with a severely compromised immune system. I can admit I live in fear of Covid-19 because for me it would be a death sentence. My body is taxed if the flu happens, and I’m constantly on guard against pneumonia. There is no vaccine for this disease and even if there were, I’m not sure I’d be in line to take it. Even with the health challenges I face it’s hard for me to be trusting at this time. When I have been out of my home twice and both times almost triggered an anxiety attack.
There is a feeling of weakness in admitting this degree of fear. With that being said I also admit that this situation is not just going to disappear so there is wisdom in caution. Regardless of what this administration would like us to believe there is still a chance that we could very well be stuck at home again. Lord knows I hope that is not the case…yet numbers are on the rise yet again. Due to all the social unrest in the country it is very easy to get caught up and neglect to remember Covid-19 is till lurking. Do what is best for you, and your family just try to be safe doing it. As for me, I will stay home for now. I will sit back and watch praying the worst doesn’t happen.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.