(ThySistas.com)
“You can’t stop the rain
When it starts to fall
There’s no one else to blame
You can’t lock that door”
-Loose Ends
I always knew that Loose Ends was just talking about love and what happens when I get to difficult times. Then, I realized this song is about any aspect of life when I encounter hardships. The song hits completely different when you can apply it to your life. It is not something I am willing to admit, but I have no choice but to do so.
Loose Ends’ message gained some clarity in my pursuit to challenge my 25%. It was no longer a feel-good song of the 80s with an awesome beat. It became my mantra as I had to deal with topics, people, and situations I have tried to avoid for a long period. Like….extensively long.
Like really long. I had my reasons. I was scared. I knew the outcome, and I did not want to deal with it. Am I right or wrong for that? Your opinion can answer that. Regardless of your perspective, I set myself up for more pain due to delaying “the rain”. 
My path to some peace was a winding road, and it is still being constructed as I continue to improve myself. Some of the steps I have taken are the following:
- 1. I allow myself to be angry.
People have a really negative connotation about anger. Yes, it is not a happy emotion, but it is not a bad emotion either. It is a passion emotion; anger is a way of expressing the passion you may feel about something. The first thing I did when attempting to deal with the horrible things I was experiencing was getting angry. I did not try to pray or meditate it away. I let it out. I had to. Releasing that passion gave me a chance to relieve my already busy mind. It also helped me mentally have space for growth. I was not holding anything back so I had the chance to focus and feel better.
- 2. I accept my faults.
This is where I put on my “big girl panties”. I will admit that I spent most of my childhood and adulthood doing my best not to take the blame if something goes wrong. I would deflect. I would blame others. I would stay quiet when I should say something. I would snitch on someone else to take the focus off of me. Why? My desire for perfection basically made me believe that having faults would not help my reputation. Then, year 30 of my life showed up. She has a fervent belief in honesty. So, I had to give up blaming others for my problems. I had to actually deal with my problems. Dealing with your own faults is a hard experience, but it needs to be done.
What happens from here? Growth. It is painful. It is exhausting. It is annoying. Nonetheless, it is a necessity. I made a conscious effort to speak positivity even when all hell is breaking loose. I also pace myself. I used to try to fix everything at one time and in one day. Then, I would put my changes into action…for three weeks. After three weeks, I went back to my old ways. My hope is the changes will stick since I am taking my time to implement them. I also allow myself help from others, and my village helps me to maintain sanity when I want to give up.
This life guarantees us one thing: change. Some is good. Some sucks. Either way, it is going to happen, and we do not always get it right. When it does go wrong, we have to remember that it is ok to be angry. We need to accept our faults. We need to grow into better versions of ourselves that we can be happy with. So…come one rain. I may not want you, but I need you.
Staff Writer; J. W. Bella
May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.