Saturday, June 22, 2024

We Must Teach Love.

August 29, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( I’m pretty convinced nothing in life comes ready made. Everything requires some level of adjustment, even when it’s positive. When we think about children…they are wonderful little people, but they don’t come into the world as a ball of perfection. Yes, that’s the thought when we see them, but we must teach them as they grow. We teach them manners, good behavior, respect for self and others, we teach tem how to love themselves and other, and whether we realize it or not we teach them how to love and appreciate us. No child comes into the world tailor made for their parents. Learning is a vital part of their growth, and the growth of our relationship with them. This is quite understandable when dealing with babies, but the same principle applies to adults and relationships.

Meeting someone that seems to understand, motivate, and adore you is a beautiful feeling. It can have you feeling like you’re walking on a cloud. However, this person obviously doesn’t know everything there is to know about you. Far too often we make the mistake of feeling we don’t need to teach someone who we are, how to love us, and how to best care for us. These things are needed. It can be taught through direct communication, and that person observing how we love self and what we allow.

Communication is necessary to maintain any relationship. When a relationship is new it’s easy to get caught up in the awesome feeling and neglect to communicate what you need from your new partner. Because they are able to connect with us we tend to believe they just need to know what we need and deliver, however we could appreciate knowing the same information. You may be thinking, I know how to love a man. Well, you may know how to love a man, but not your man if you just got him. He’s an individual…not every other man you’ve been with you will need to communicate with him to know what he needs from you, and if you can give what he needs. You aren’t every woman, and you’d want him to realize that quickly. Well, in order to fully do so you will have to teach him how to love you specifically. Talk about expectations on how you communicate and how often it’s necessary. Have the uncomfortable conversations so that there is no misunderstanding resulting from assumption.

It is important to realize that man is also learning how to love you based on the way you treat yourself. No one should take you for granted or mistreat you. It’s hard to continue on with someone that allows themselves to be mistreated and taken advantage of. As much as he wants to love you, he will be in a constant battle with your lack of love for self. You will defend others when he wants to defend you. He won’t understand why he is on the chopping block for any small mistake he makes while others are allowed to mistreat you with malicious intent, and you allow it. This could cause the relationship to become rocky quickly.

If we want to be respected as the individuals we are it’s important to understand no one come with a ready installed manual on how to love and care for you. Our inability to admit we must teach love sets us up to have avoidable conflict in our relationship. We much teach and be taught. As sure as we grow and evolve we will always be learning new and better ways to love and be loved.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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