(ThySistas.com) Let me begin by saying there are some beautiful black & white inter-racial couples. People that love each other deeply, the difference of race is not a factor in the love. There are white women, and men, that love their black partner and except everything about them. They fully embrace the family, and in matters of racial injustice they are a true ally. These white women are not with a black man to prove a point, and they don’t see black women as their enemy. This has to be said to acknowledge those that love well. With that addressed there are some myths that really need to be dispelled regarding black men as it pertains to white women, and a black woman’s place in it all.
I understand this is not a comfortable subject, and it doesn’t apply to every white woman…nor black woman. However, it is a very sore issue in black community that has to be handled. Being in a relationship is hard enough for anyone, but when you face myths that are not of your own making that makes matters worse. Contrary to believe relationships are apart of community, and they need said community to thrive.
White women and black women need to understand that every black man is not secretly enchanted, and in love, with white women. All black men, not even most, see white women as the ultimate standard of beauty, and they aren’t looking to chase white women in spite of black women. There are some white women that feel its necessary to spew this myth at black women to make them feel they are unwanted by their men because of their “attitude” or personality. There are black men that spew this hatred to either because they are dealing with self-hatred issues or have been hurt by a black woman. Regardless of the reason the myth is false. More than 80% of black men that are married are married to black women. This is a fact everyone has to accept. Furthermore, black women know every black man is not for them. However, the assumption that a black woman is always giving a white woman a side eye when she is with a black man is…false. Yes, it happens but not as often as white women believe furthermore some of those women have direct issues with said man.
There have been entirely too many situations whereby white women have felt the need to address black women, and even try to explain to us why our men do not prefer us. This is not okay; it is a show of white woman’s privilege to believe she can speak in that space, and it reminds us that in the world of feminism with are without true allies. Yes, women need to stand together but its hard to do that when we deal with white women that make us feel they have the right to touch everything that is us, and then explain that our men don’t love us. That is cruel, and inaccurate.
The media has a had in perpetuating this fight between women, and the fight between black men and women. There are many black men out here that love black women fiercely with everything that is in them, and they aren’t some miniscule percentage. White women need to understand all of our men are not chasing you…as we aren’t chasing all of your men. Those couples that love deeply, regardless of race, let them do so in peace. As for everyone else its time to live in the truth that there are women, other than white women, that are worth loving.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.