Check on Your Strong Friend.

(ThySistas.com) Black women are known for their strength and resilience. It is a wonderful part of our character. We find a way to be there for our family, friends, and community. There is usually a sister that tends to be the calm in the midst of a storm. She stands out as the person to call when all hell breaks loose, and she can remind you of who you are help bring you back to the center. This sister finds a way to see the best in those she loves, while offering the council necessary to remain honest. That sister has absolutely no problem telling her loved ones they are wrong while understanding on a deep level the degree of their conflict or pain. Life is busy for every person, but she makes time to jungle the needs of all those around her.

Often times this is done without mummer or complaint. She is happy when everyone around her is winning, living their best like, and walking in the happiness they deserve. This sister will celebrate your every success with no thought to her own life. You never have to worry about her throwing shade because you have achieved something she has yet to obtain. There is no envy or jealousy in her congratulations to you. However, for all her strength and support she is human…and life happens to her as well.

Your strong friend manages the hardship of life by thinking outside of herself. She finds peace, and at times the answers to her own issues, as she walks you through your situations. There is no doubt that she loves you, yet no one sees that she questions being loved. She is strong, but she’s not blind. There are times whereby we keep sanity by not acknowledging everything we see. This sister says its okay when she doesn’t hear from anyone after making it known she needs someone to talk to.

She absolves others from the responsibilities of friendship and family; the responsibility of reciprocity in any relationship is not demanded. In this space our strong sister is weak, hurting, and deserving of some form of the care she gives. If one is not careful it can become very easy to see her as an unmovable rock in our life that will be there no matter what she faces. This can be very dangerous.

It is important to give as we receive. The rocks in our life need care. That sister needs to know and hear that she is loved. She deserves to be asked how she is doing, and not as a formality to get to what we want to discuss but asked because we genuinely want to know. There are times she will need the care of her community because she also lives with hurt, grief, disappointment, and many other life challenges. That sister deserves to be celebrated in her times of joy and success as purely as she celebrates. Why must she be reminded of what you wish you had, or be told well at least you have…on the day her breakthrough happens? You nor I want that don’t to us, neither does she.

It is important to make sure our strong sister is not drowning in anxiety and depression that we overlook because of her functionality. While she’s talking us back to life the life is slowly leaving her eyes and we never took the time to look. In this space we’ve taken this sister that loves us and turned her into the recipient of misuse and abuse. That strong sister is good to us, and we must show her how much she is loved. There are times she will need to recharge, and we ought not be selfish to feel put away nor dismissed. We ought not guilt her with language that will make her stop tending to her self-healing to pour what little she has left into us. This sister’s strength should never become her curse. This happens when her humanity is overlooked for our selfishness. The harsh truth of that reality seems to show itself when she decides she will no longer tolerate the abuse, her health declines in a frightening way, or she is taken from us forever.

Check on that strong sister(s) in your life, love on her, allow her to share her life with you, and care for her wellbeing. The sisters that stand by us no matter what we face, nor what they are dealing with, are a true blessing to our life. Never allow her to forget how much of a blessing she is to you, her family, and her community.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

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