(ThySistas.com) Everyone is entitled to their feelings; this is true. With that in mind we as ladies have to ask ourselves, do we believe this is true for others outside of self. Having feelings doesn’t give one the right to abuse others or disregard the actual feelings of others. When feelings dictate how we will treat and handle others we run the risk of issuing to others treatment that we fight against receiving. Feelings taking charge behavior is indiscriminate in who it hurts: family, sister friends, children or the significant other. Its important that we take account of our behavior regardless of our feelings, because if we don’t, we run the risk of falling to hypocrisy which can destroy many relationships in our life. The young girls in our homes, family and communities are looking to us for direction on how to become queens. It is important that we are mindful of the energy we give, and how we maintain our own crown.
We are in a season whereby men are being held to account regarding the treatment of women. This is a VERY good thing. What also must be recognized is eventually the season will balance out to all being
held to account on how we treat each other. As many women push for more men to be open about their feelings and experiences to tackle what is now deemed as “toxic” what will surface is the abuse that women also give.
If we are honest, no, men are not allowed to be in their feelings in the same way we are. They can’t say I’m on my cycle so I will treat you as I feel. They can’t say I’m going to curse you out because I don’t like how you feel. They aren’t allowed to get so upset that they decide to physically attack without repercussions, nor judgement. They will be labeled abusers in ways we will not. For healing to take place all must learn how to constructively navigate feelings. No one is allowed to get so upset that they become physical, and on the offence physically at that. We can’t just enter a space od verbal abuse based on feelings. Anger, and feelings management is necessary for men and women to understand and practice.
It is understandable that sometimes we must step back and enter a space of solitude to administer self-care whereby we can work through negative feelings. This is positive, just understand you aren’t the only person that will need to do. When sisters in your circle are in need of the same self-care it is wrong to see them as dismissive of you, or insensitive. Life is happening to us all; the same compassion we expect regardless of the feelings of others is the same compassion we must dispense. If we don’t this will trickle down to our children.
We’ll find ourselves short of patience, blowing up on them, and pushing them away when they just might be in a serious situation. This can happen because in that moment all we see is our feelings. Children don’t just learn from what we say, but also what we do. They can pick up on us telling them to manage their emotions in situations while not managing our own. This can create resentment in our children that can make reaching them at crucial times difficult.
It can’t be acknowledged enough you have a right to your feelings. However, you should consider not letting those feelings control how you will interact with situations. It is important we give what we expect and remove excuses we will not allow from others. This can save us a lot of emotional damage down the line, properly weed out toxic relationships, preserve valuable relationships and set positive examples for our children.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.