Friday, January 15, 2021

When Proposals Become Indecent: Why You Should Never Rush a Proposal.

October 13, 2017 by  
Filed under Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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(ThySistas.comMarriage. It’s the ultimate declaration of your love in the presence of God Herself, your family, your friends and each other. So, why do so many people treat it as an expensive fashion accessory? There can be no denying that the institution of marriage has become a decadent parade of one-upmanship with an average price tag of over $30,000 and ostentatious trappings designed to make an impression. Now, of course this isn’t to say that couples shouldn’t be allowed to throw big fancy weddings, but when the emphasis is so placed on spectacle at the expense of love and wedding planning puts severe strain on relationships, something is very wrong.

Beware the green eyed monster

These big, expensive parties are often regarded as a ‘must have’, and it’s all too easy for the green eyed monster to show her head and for those ladies whose men have yet to make a formal commitment, this can lead them to feel immense pressure on them to follow suit with a big showy wedding of their own. This wedding envy is understandable, but unfortunately many women react by constantly henpecking their men until they eventually propose out of resignation… Is that really the best way forward for a relationship? Could this be the reason why 40-50% of marriages in the US end in divorce?

Relationships need to grow and mature before the prospect of marriage enters the equation. Here are just a few of the reasons why…

You can’t see clearly in a whirlwind

Whirlwind romances are great but they have a habit of (if you’ll forgive the stretched metaphor) blurring one’s perspective. We all remember the giddy thrill when we first meet someone special, and if they were to whip out a diamond ring from 77 Diamonds in those giddy days we might limp into their arms… But that’d be ill advised. Time needs to pass to establish a baseline for each other and your relationship.

You need to make sure you’re happy with your life before you share it

Some of us have gone from one relationship to another all of their adult lives, with little time to figure out who we are and what we want from life. It’s unfair to expect yourself to be able to dedicate the rest of your life to someone before you’ve really gotten to know yourself.

Rebound relationships tend to be rushed  

When we lose a spouse to either death or divorce, their absence can feel cavernous, leaving us feeling isolated and lonely. Thus, when someone takes an interest in us again, we can get over excited and rush into a new relationship feet first. “Time’s getting on” and “None of us are getting any younger”, we tell ourselves, but the truth is that we’re rushing headlong into this new relationship to fill the gap left by our departed ex spouse before we’ve really gauged our compatibility with this new person. Hence, we don’t find out what they’re really like often until it’s too late.

Staff Writer; Isabella Brown

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